


Let's Burn This Motherfucker Down!

by artxee (XanthanGummies)



Category: Fake News RPF
Genre: 1990s, Alternate Universe - High School, Bisexual Male Character, Daddy Issues, M/M, Pansexual Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-08
Updated: 2016-06-30
Packaged: 2018-05-19 05:29:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 40,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5955418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XanthanGummies/pseuds/artxee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>His new principle is a dick. And he wouldn't have cared -- this is America, people can be dicks if they so choose-- if it hadn't been for Stephen. </p><p>or the one where Jon goes through unnecessary measures to smear the reputation of his new principle</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> what Jon looks like for reference b/c there isn't much description of his appearance: http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lk6v0nJPXV1qd3779o1_400.jpg

His aunt was home. Not just home for ten minutes to grab a bite to eat or a cup of coffee. She must of been home for at least an hour because she'd been waiting for him when he returned from school. He almost didn't pull into the driveway when he saw her car. He almost turned right around to go back to school or over to a friend's. Anyone on the outside looking in would say "So what? Who cares?". Well, there's this thing that his aunt has called _I-totally-forget-about-my-nephew-all-the-time-and-you-couldn't-pay-me-enough-money-to-care-about-him-as-much-as-i-do-my-job-and-i-wouldn't-notice-him-standing-a-centimeter-away-with-binoculars-itus._ It's actually very common among his parents siblings.

He should of known everything would turn to shit as soon as he walked through that door. He did know yet he still decided to cross that threshold.

"God, Jon, why you gotta keep me waiting? Where ya been kid?"

_Leave_.

"School." Jon says cautiously.

_Maybe if I leave really fast, she won't even care enough to try and catch me._

"Huh. Did you always get out so late?" She asks, mostly to herself. "Well, anyway, I been meaning to talk to you about something. And im not putting it off anymore." She pats the bar stool beside her.

Her eyes are care-free.

_Cough. Irresponsible._

Her posture relaxed.

_Scoff. Of course she's stress free._

Her face kind.

_Yeah it looks nice now but go ahead and spend five minutes with her. I dare you._

He slowly walks over to her and sits down, laying his bag on the counter. She looks him in the eyes, tilts her head and says "aw" with that weird pouty face she always does when breaking bad news. "I love you, Jonnie," Suddenly she grips Jon's face so his lips take semblance of a fish's. Jon shifts his eyes around (looking for answers maybe?). What the fuck is happening?

"I love you so much sweetheart but I don't think you can stay here anymore."

Woah. Stop.

"What?" Jon put her hands back onto the counter with a puzzled look on his face. "What are you talking about?"

"Jonnie, honey, you're 18 years old, I mean-- I moved out when I was 17 so really--"

"You ran away and became a prostitute!" Jon denotes, abruptly standing up. "I mean-- what the fuck does that even mean-- I can't stay here anymore? I haven't even graduated high school."

She stands up along with him. "I just-- I just can't take care of you anymore. I'm always so busy and I'm never here. And-- and how many times have you gotten in trouble because I didn't sign your shit for school?"

Jon squints his eyes, still stuck in the whole _oh by the way, your homeless now_ thing. "What?"

She sighed. A few seconds went by. "Ya know what? No use lyin' here. My boyfriend, Mark, he wants to live with me. And I want him to too. I mean--" She gestures to the white granite island they were previously sitting at. "I wanna fuck him on top of this. And I wanna fuck him in the den. And I wanna fuck him on the washer machine. And I can't do that with you here, sweet pea."

Jon's expression changed from confused to disgusted _and_ confused. "You wanna kick me, your eighteen year old nephew, out because you wanna have sex with your boyfriend?"

"Well that's basically it but trust me-- this'll be better for the both of us." she tries.

Jon just stares, still in disbelief. His aunt always loved playing elaborate jokes on him-- the kind that a highly paid prosecuting attorney shouldn't have time for. It was probably just a set up.

"Listen, I wouldn't kick out my favorite nephew--"

"Yeah right." Jon interrupts.

"--without finding him a much better place for him to stay." she continues, "I asked your aunt Jo if she'd be willing to take you and she said she'd love to have you, Jon." She puts a bright smile on her face, it looked a little strained and maybe a bit too hopeful.

Jon says nothing.

"Oh, forgot to tell you the best part." she smiles and moves closer to him. "Jo lives in Long Island!"

Jon takes a step back, eyes widened.

"And think of all the boys you could meet from the city." She winks.

Still nothing.

"And she's totally okay with your gay thing so you don't even have to worry about that-- I'm pretty sure she was the one who told your dad when you were bringing that boy home and it just flew straight over his head."

_Dad_.

Usually, he can forget. It had been almost 2 years now. But he supposes, that is why he is in this situation. _Dad_.

His aunt puts a hand on his shoulder. "I know you didn't ask to be stuck here with me. I didn't either, kid. But they just stick you with the closest living relative when one dies and the other's an asshole-- in total disregard of whether I'm a fit parent or not."

Oh, right, it wasn't just his dad. It was his mom, his grandparents--both sides-- and his stupid Uncle Andy for moving away. It was all of their faults. That's why he's in the custody of an immature, sex crazed lawyer.

"Don't be sad, sweet pea." She makes that stupid pout face again while rubbing his shoulder. "I know Lawrenceville seemingly has everything-- anti-Semites, racists, ill-dressed people, I mean, the list goes on-- but there are people out there who need you so much more than they do. These people, this ungrateful bunch of twats, they won't ever appreciate you, Jon, and you have to know that."

Jon kinda smiles.

"Now, I know this might be ill-timed but now is a good a time as any to get the fuck out of New Jersey, okay?"

She really was right, as much as he hated that.

"Okay."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> he meets stephen in this chapter but dont get your hopes up lololololol i'm serious

Apparently, Aunt Maggie had been thinking about shipping him off to Long Island for quite some time now. Enough time for him to be accepted into a college prep school in which the only way of entry was a lottery system. This was kind of ridiculous considering he only had like half of his senior year left. Also, Aunt Jo had his room made up, painted and decorated to his tastes.

He'd never really spent much time with his aunt Jo. The only thing he really knew about her was that she was a "no good hippie who doesn't know a thing about world." But after spending a couple of days with her, he concluded that she was nice enough. She watched a lot of cooking shows and she had a huge crush (can you still call it a crush if you're a fifty-one year old woman?) on Jeff Smith. She likes to do yoga in the morning, eat oatmeal with fruit and loves being an old woman because "she doesn't have to worry about blood falling out of my vagina anymore."

Jon does admit that moving to Long Island wasn't as bad as he initially thought. Well, cause home is where the heart is (and all that shit) and his heart just wasn't in Lawrenceville. Honestly, he would live anywhere if it wasn't with his dad. You know what, that's already a plus. Living in New York is gonna be fucking awesome.

"Where ya going, honey?" Jo said from the living room floor, still in the down dog position as Jon was making his way to the front door.

"Um--School?" Jon smiles. "It's my first day, remember?"

"Oh!" She pops, letting out a little chuckle. "Of course, honey. I hope you have a beautiful time and make lots of friends."

"Are you supposed to be holding that position for so long?" Jon queries, his aunt's olive complexion now sporting a bright red.

"I'll be fine, honey, just go. Don't want you to be late!"

He walks out the door, smiling, following the directions his aunt had written down for him which resulted in a fourteen minute walk. When he gets to school,--fifteen minutes early, as planned-- he meets up with the principal.

"We have a _great_ school here, I really think you're going to enjoy your time here." The principal, Dr. (yes, doctor) Spelding, says to start off the tour. Jon didn't really listen for a large portion of time after that. Dr. I'm Better Than You said something about great classes, excellent teachers and a responsible, "well behaved" student body. Then, something that made Jon's ears perk up, "And I know you had a problem with bullying and harassment at your old school but I assure you, it will not happen here. We have a _zero_ tolerance policy for everything:  harassment, smoking, drinking, weapons-- it's all off limits and all punishable with expulsion."

 _Jesus_.

"Listen, Jonathon, I know moving's hard." He put a light hand on Jon's shoulder with a pseudo-concerned look on his face. "I moved in the middle of my senior too and it was hard, sure, but what makes you a _man,_ son _,_ is what you make out of the situation."

_So inspiring._

"Well this is your 1st class." He gestures to the classroom door. Wow, they took a tour of the entire school and Jon processed none of it. Great.

Dr. I've Accomplished So Much gives him his schedule, walks him in, presents him to the class, smiles that slimy smile and walks out. The class waves to him. A kid in the back says, "Wassup!"

"Quiet, Salmonella." The teacher, Mr. Norman, silences the kid in the back and a couple of the people around him laugh quietly.

Mr. Norman is short stout man, with a thick mustache, tan skin and resting angry face. "He's just a big teddy bear, though," he remembers the secretary at the main office saying.

"You can sit back there next to Dumb and Dumber; I'll catch you up after."

Dumb and Dumber raise their hands and Jon walks towards them. Dumb raises his hand for a high five and do does Dumber. Jon reluctantly hits both of their hands then sits between them.

"Bro, where'you from?" Dumb whispers with smile.

Jon quickly glances at the empty notebook on Dumb's desk and the several games of tic tac toe in Dumber's notebook. "Jersey."

"Man, is Jersey that bad?" Dumb says looking at Dumber with a surprised look on his face.

Jon looks at his new classmates confused.

"Everybody here moves up from Jersey but this town is shit and this school is even shittier." Dumber whispers to Jon, glancing back at Mr. Norman who's now glaring at him with the same scowl he seems to have had this whole time. Mr. Norman pauses, glares, sighs, then goes back to scribbling numbers on the blackboard.

Dumber whispers again, "Have you met the principal yet?"

Jon nods.

"He's a fucking maniac." Dumb chimes in. "Last semester he suspended a black kid because he wouldn't take out his dreads."

"Oh my god, on the first day of school he suspended _nineteen_ girls for dress code shit."

_The first day?_

A girl in front of him turns around, "Yeah, I was wearing a fucking long sleeve turtle neck and a long skirt and I showed like an inch of my belly and I got suspended for 5 fucking days."

"Oh my god," another girl joins in, "We started a book club and he said he wanted to _mandate_ the books we read."

"He wouldn't display my art work in the winter art show because it featured Tupac lyrics and then he told me that I should respect myself."

Goddamn this principal sounds like shit. He didn't even notice when the teacher stopped teaching, went to his desk and virtually the entire class was telling horror stories of Dr. Obsessively Compulsive.

"Yo, what do you think Normy?" A kid asks and Mr. Norman-- Normy?-- answers, "I think he's overcompensating for something."

And the whole class burst out in laughter.

See, what Jon understands is that Dr. Ruin Everything was new to this school. He had only joined this year and so far everyone hates him. One kid used the word _totalitarian_ to describe his regime.

Sooner than expected, the bell rang and everybody but him move onto their second periods.

He should've paid attention on the tour because holy shit this school is big.

He makes it out the door but not much farther. He's looking for hallway C over by J and H and this isn't going well. He bumps into  an administrator while trying to make his way through the labyrinth.

"Hey, you're the new kid." A lady with glasses, a slim build, a thick Jersey accent and a navy sheath dress.

Jon nods.

"Where ya coming from kid?" She grabs his schedule out of his hands. "AP Calculus, huh? Smart kid."

Jon shrugs.

"Ok, to get to Econ, you're gonna need to go down these stairs right here," she points "and take a right when you see the D hallway. The hallway perpendicular to it, at the back is C. Just go down to the end, that's the Econ classroom. Ms. West is wonderful."

Jon just nods despite catching none of that.

"But they're going to be in the library for this next week so I'll walk you there." She adds and they start walking.

The whole day pretty much went like this. He got lost several times and several faculty members helped him find his way. He didn't speak to many kids really. All the girls talked about was boys and all the boys realm talked about was girls. Very dry conversations all day.

There's only one class left in the day and that's chorus. He didn't ask for chorus-- he never sang in his life-- but they just put him in because hd had an empty period.

He walks into the auditorium (he found that pretty easily) to see about a hundred-and-something kids on stage all talking at this point because the bell hasn't rung yet.

He walks up the steps and introduces himself to the teacher who's standing at the edge of the stage behind a piano with his back to the audience.

"Uh, hi, I'm Jon. I'm new."

"Hey, yeah, someone told me I'd get a new student." He smiles, revealing his deep-set crows feet. "You sang before?"

Jon shakes his head.

"Okay, can you sing a quick scale for me real quick, on la?" He plays a note on the piano and sings up to a point and goes back down. "Like that."

He plays the note and sings with Jon and Jon tries to match it. Jon sing all the up and all the way down, his voice cracking on a vast majority of the notes.

"Good, okay." He smiles again. It's a great smile. "Sit next to Stephen for now," he points to a kid in the front row, who looks at Mr. Veda when he hears his name. "We'll voice test you next Monday. Don't worry about the music, we'll get you caught up. Welcome to New York."

Jon sits next to the kid, Stephen.

Wow. The kid, Stephen, has the warmest most genuine smile.

"Hey, man, where ya from?"

"Jersey."


	3. Chapter 3

It's his second Saturday in New York and his aunt decides to take him on a walk. It's mid-February so it's been quite cold but it's 40 degrees out today and the sun looks beautiful shining on the slowly melting snow against the backdrop of a bright blue sky. Aunt Jo says she loves days like this. They're more beautiful than any summer day. She says she loves the winter because "when everything is dead around you, you're forced to find life within yourself." How could his dad even be related to this woman?

His first week in school was pretty uneventful. The only thing he really looked forward to was the periods he had with Stephen.

Stephen is so great. He didn't notice on his first day but Stephen is in his second period study hall, Econ, and gym classes _along with_ chorus.

They had a sub in Econ on Tuesday and Stephen and he just sat there making jokes about-- Jon doesn't even remember. He just remembers he hasn't laughed that hard in a long fucking time. He remembers that Stephen brushed one of his curls out of his face on Wednesday and he leaned into it like a fucking cat. He remembers that he walked the perimeter of the gym with him on Thursday when Stephen didn't want to participate in the admittedly intense dodgeball game going on the court. He remembers that when Stephen wasn't there on Friday, he felt just a little emptier than he usually does.

"You comin', honey?" Aunt Jo yells from the front of the house while Jon's lacing up his boots.

"Yeah, I'm coming." He yells back. He grabs a beanie and a sweatshirt from his closet and meets his aunt at the door. Then they're off.

They're walking in silence for a little bit. His aunt is taking pictures, with the camera hanging around her neck, of everything really. She sees a bird or a falling leaf or a big stalactite of ice dripping away and snaps a photo.

"So, how's school been going?" She asks, breaking the peaceful silence. "Make any friends yet?"

"Uh, yeah, one." Jon mentions, immediately thinking of Stephen and his eyes brighten up and he smiles a small smile.

"Ooh, I saw that, mister." She pokes fun at him. "Is it a girl? No its a boy. I bet you it’s a boy. What's his name?"

He replies, "Stephen," and he can’t help the smile that spreads on his lips. "But also,"

"There is no _awlso_. There's nothing you can say that says more than your face when you say his name." Jo puts an arm around his shoulders, in some way synchronizing their steps. "And it's only been 4 days, Jesus help him!"

"No, there is an also," Jon inserts. "Look I know what you've been thinking and I don't care if you assume 'cause it never really affected me but I'm not gay."

"Baby, it's okay to be gay. It's 1993 for Christ's sake." She laughs.

"No, I'm fuckin' serious." Jon laughs with her. "I'm not gay."

She tilts her head, looking confused. "Really?"

"Yes!"

"Okay what color are his eyes?" She asks, confidently.

"Brown." He answers, confidently.

"Okay, what color are my eyes?" She turns her head away quickly.

 _Shit_.

"Brown?"

She gasps in fake outrage, "They're green you little shit," and playfully hits him. Then, Jo just burst out laughing. "Honey, you may not be queer now but this boy's gonna make you realize that you're _not_ straight."

The rest of their walk was fun. She shows him around his new neighborhood, introduces him to neighbors that she really likes and takes him to a park for a little bit before they walk back home.

Jon walks to school on Monday with a small pang in his heart. It's a bunch of fucking bullshit but he misses Stephen. He's known the kid for all of-- what? 5 days? And he already misses him? Honestly it's pathetic.

He gets there a few minutes before the bell and he sits down. He's changed his seat since the first day, not wanting to be around the brain sucking energy in the back of the class. Then, a girl behind him with blonde ringlets and red lipstick taps him on the shoulder.

"You're the kid from Jersey right?"

"Yeah,"

"Well, um, I just wanted to give you a little warning about Stephen," She smacks her gum and leans closer, "He's, like, really _weird_."

Jon rolls his eyes and says, "Thanks," then turns back around.

What she said was ultimately empty but then Stephen didn't show up that day until ninth, all he could think about was, " _He's like really weird_."

He knows what that word _weird_ means to highschoolers. It means quiet or queer or loner. Quiet means serial killer, queer means pervert who's gonna sneak into your house at night and eat your dick and loner also means serial killer. He knows what it means.

But still he can't shake it. He can't stop thinking about Stephen being _weird_ because he doesn't even see Stephen until chorus. And usually he's pretty good at  repressing and disconnecting but all he can think about is this fucking kid.

Could Stephen really be queer? He seems like the kind of kid who wouldn't have much sex at all. He's all long skinny limbs and not much muscle. He doesn't really talk to anyone really, except for Jon. Whenever Jon sees him at lunch or in the hall, he's sitting alone reading or walking alone singing quietly to himself. He doesn't play on any sports. He's not really in any clubs. He's just Stephen: the 16 year old boy with the kindest eyes, the bounciest brown (okay, kinda geeky) hair, and a smile so fucking bright it makes you forget that you might've failed your last test or said the wrong thing. He's deaf in one ear but listens to every word Jon says. He's got the biggest fucking heart in America.

And serial killers don't even have hearts, right?

It's ninth period now and Stephen comes walking in a minute before the bell like he'd been at school all day, smiling as usual. He plops himself next to Jon and says hi.

"Hey," Jon smiles at him. "I thought you weren't here."

"Oh, no, I was actually in the library." Stephen then pulls a book out, _The Tolkien Reader_ , of his vacuous backpack. "I was reading this book. I can't believe I never heard of it but I was in the library before school and I saw it and I just sat in the corner and read it. I guess no one saw me." He snickers at that last part.

"All fucking day?" Jon's eyes widen. "No one caught you, not even Dr. Dickhead?"

"I don't think people even notice me when I'm _in_ class." Stephen shrugs with a half smile.

"I fuckin' wish man-- with my luck..." Jon says, half to himself.

"Just stand behind anything taller than you; I mean there isn't much that's shorter than you so shouldn't be too hard."

They both giggle. Short jokes, overdone as they are, are never annoying when Stephen makes them. 

The quiet roar of the class lowers to a silence as Mr. Veda says, "Alright guys, sorry about that. C'mon, get out _The Ground._ "

Jon has his voice assessment today, right after school in one of the practice rooms and Stephen insisted on going with him.

The practice room is maybe a 6 x 8 room with an upright and bench, a mirrored wall and extra music stands in the room.

They both put their bags down and look into the mirror. Stephen nestles his chin into the nest of dark curls on Jon's head. Is it horrible that he loves the feeling of his 5’6 frame fitting perfectly into Stephen's 5'9 one?

 _Yeah it's pretty horrible_.

"You wanna do something this weekend?" Stephen asks but Jon almost doesn't hear.

"I have to go pick up my car from my aunt in Jersey this weekend."

"Ooh I can go with you." Stephen smiles.

"Uh, well my aunt Jo's driving me down and she's kinda--"

Mr. Veda walks in the room with a folder in his hand and Jon lightly shoves Stephen off of him with a nervous jolt.

Mr. Veda's eyes shift away from them for a second. "Hey guys."

Jon sings a couple of scales for the director and he's out of there in 2 minutes with the voice part of Bass 1.

"You're actually a pretty good singer." Stephen says as they're walking out together, smiling.

"I sound like a kettle boiling over," Jon retorts and Stephen laughs and doesn’t completely disagree.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We meet Jon's fam woo \\(*o*)/ oh except for matt, jon's other real life brother, cus I couldn't find anything about him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also guys i'm updating regularly on Mondays :) yay for me actually keeping a schedule

So road trips are fun.

Jo is driving him and Stephen down to super-average- realistic-exponentially-boring Lawrenceville, New Jersey. It's almost a 3 hour drive and Stephen has been way too excited all the way there. He's so curious about everything and he keeps asking Jo and Jon countless questions about life and the past. It's so different to be around someone who genuinely cares about the answers to the questions they ask.

Different in the best way possible.

But also, Jon doesn't think Jo knows that Stephen doesn't know that Jon kind of... _ likes _ him. Jo’s not the one to hide anything so, he’s been on edge the whole car ride. What if Jo says something that weirds Stephen out.

Yesterday night, Stephen slept over because Jon thought they were getting his car then, but Jo wanted to go in the morning so that's what they're doing. The night was fine; they got through Episode IV and V of Star wars but Stephen fell asleep halfway through Episode VI right on Jon’s chest. They slept like that, with each other,  _ together _ . And it felt...right?

Now, they're in a car and Jo is talking about how much of a bitch Maggie can be because Stephen asked.

“Well our dad actually wanted us awll to be lawyers and doctors or deli owners of whatever-- he wanted us all to have money okay?” She begins. “And Maggie was an A, B student all her life and Dad just loved her but then suddenly she just said ‘fuck this shit’ and started sleeping around. She actually ran away her senior year and became a hoe for a little bit-- that pissed dad the fuck off lemme tell you.” she laughs. “And I think he was really depending on her to be the good child or whatever ‘cause the rest of us were disappointments-- Donnie was  _ never  _ good enough, and I went to art school for a bit and he practically disowned me, and Andy was actually going to business school at the time but who cares about the oldest, right?”

“Wait, Maggie was a prostitute?” Stephen says mouth agape, but his lips spread into a smile then he looks at Jon. 

“Yes, sir,” Jo nods. “How many times that girl came over to my apartment asking me to take her to the clinic because she got gonorrhea; I can't even count.”

“Oh my god,” Stephen is still smiling so big. “Did he know? He couldn't’ve at the beginning--?”

“Oh no she was sucking cock then coming home and kissing Daddy on the cheek with spunk on the side of her lips.”

Jon sees her roll her eyes in the rearview mirror. Man, Stephen is loving this.

“So anyway, she spent like 2 months doing that shit but she was basically living at home-- she went home every week to raid the fridge and wash her panties-- and her school actually let her go back and finish. Then she went to Rowan for undergrad law and Daddy just forgot about everything.” she rolls her eyes again.

“But didn't you go for law too? Sophomore year you switched your major?” It's like this kid was taking notes. Stephen probably knows more about Jon's family than Jon does at this point.

“Yeah, but he didn’t really care.” No shrugs.

“Grandpa sounds like my Dad,” Jon mentions offhandedly.

“Oh yeah, they're the same,” Jo says like it's common knowledge. “They're both named Don, both had amazing wives and both had pretty shit outlooks on life.”

“Are your parents divorced?” Stephen turns to Jon.

“Yeah,” Jon says as Jo catches his eyes in the rearview. She's great at reading people and Jon’s an open book to someone that really pays attention. Jon averts his eyes from the person he's lying to, acts like he's done with the conversation. Jo sees this and immediately knows Stephen doesn't know shit about Jon's life.

“His mom actually passed away,” Jo adds. “2 years ago, May 13th.”

“Jo!” 

“Jon it's not a secret.” She dismisses, making a turn on the next exit. “I know you, okay. You wouldn't’ve told him.”

“Why would I? I didn't even tell Dan.” Jon replies, like Stephen isn't there anymore.

“He was your date to the funeral, you idiot, you didn’t have to.” Jo points out, using her “how could you not understand?!” voice.

“He wasn't my date-- I'm not gay!”

Stephen looks at Jon.

Oh yeah, Stephen doesn't know about this part.

“That's my birthday,” Stephen mutters.

Silence.

“What?” Jo furrows her brow.

“May 13th, sorry.” Stephen shakes his head.

“Oh.” Jon glances at his friend then back to his lap. “I just don't want you to feel sorry for me, okay? ‘cause it's fine. I'm fine.”

“I get that, though.” Stephen shrugs. “My dad and 2 of my brothers died when I was 10 and, I remember” he sort of chuckles to himself, “Everyone kept saying to me, ‘Stephen, I know how you feel, my grandma, grandpa, my neighbor-- whatever-- they died when I was young like you.’-- like it was the same thing.”

Silence.

“It was bullshit.” Stephen whispers, staring down at his lap and fiddling with his fingernails.

“People tell me that all the time.” Jon sort of smiles.  “And it is bullshit.”

Stephen picks his head up hesitantly, “Right?” 

They both laugh lightly.

Jo smiles.

“But Jon, no-- bullshit, I'm really sorry about your mom.” Stephen places his hand on where Jon's is resting on the middle seat.

Jon looks him in his kind brown eyes and responds with a timid “Thanks.” 

Wow. That's the most honest condolence he's received thus far.

“Alright, guys we’re here.” Jo says a few minutes later but sooner than expected as she's parking her car into a very familiar driveway.

They all get out of the car and walk past Jon's car and-- wait.

“Is that Larry's car?” Jon pauses. 

Jon's car is great. Reliable, sturdy, nothing flashy, it's a modest matte maroon finish. He saved up a lot of money for a long time to get this thing and he's proud of it. But next to Larry's car it looks like a piece of shit. The Larry-mobile is a slick black sports car with a leather interior and a bunch of other shit his brother couldn't possibly need.

The Larry-mobile was a gift from their dad that was given to him so he could look like the superhero that their dad always believed he was.

“Honey it's fine, he won't bother you. We’re just here to get your keys.” Jo puts a comforting hand on Jon's back and ushers him to the front door. She reaches out to ring the bell.

Just his luck, Larry shows up at the door with a smirk on his face, his 6’2 figure towering over Jon. He looks at Stephen briefly, like he was going to say something provoking but instead moves aside to let the 3 of them in the house. “Hey Aunt Jo,” he pecks her on the cheek.

“Jon.” he nods to his kid brother, closing the door then walking back to the table where he was sitting before they came. 

“This your boyfriend?” Larry flashes a douchey smile because he  _ knows _ Jon's gonna get mad.

“Can you shut the fuck up?” Jon asks firmly, glaring at his brother. “Where's Aunt Maggie?”

If you can't already tell, their relationship is…rough. 

“Probably sleeping.” Larry answers, continuing to do whatever he was there to do in the first place. He still has that goddamn smirk on his face. “Why don't you guys sit down for a bit?”

Larry shuffles some of the papers around so they're only spread around half the table instead of the whole.

They all sit-- Jon does hesitantly. 

Stephen keeps looking at Jon with a sort of worried look in his eyes. It reminds him to breathe. He doesn't want his shit hanging over Stephen's head. 

“So what's your name, kid?” Larry smiles.

Before Stephen can introduce himself, his eye catches Maggie shuffling out of the back hall with tousled hair, a pink satin sleep mask covering her forehead, wearing an oversized shirt that almost doesn’t cover enough. Jon sees Stephen smile and slowly scan her petite body as she walks out.

“Why are there so many people in my house?” She says languidly, rubbing her eyes.

Maggie drags herself into her crisp clean kitchen and grabs some coffee grounds from her top cabinet above the stove. Her shirt rides up when she reaches, showing some of her ass, and Stephen gets an eyefull.

The woman's 40 years old but looks 35. She works out religiously so her ass, which should be sagging by now, is full and perky. The “sexy lawyer” thing she has going is why half her clients come to her so, obviously, she has to keep it up.

“Maggie, cover your ass.” Jo reprimands.

“Hey, you came into  _ my _ house okay?” Maggie pulls a mug down from another cabinet and slams it down on her sleek countertops, not hard enough to break it though. “Why’re you guys even here?”

“We're getting my car.” Jon can't believe he's explaining this to her again. They called on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday, to remind her and she still forgot . “Do you still have my keys?”

“Oh yeah,” His aunt smacks herself in the head. “Lemme get ‘em.”

She starts making her way to her room when Stephen speaks up, “Um, excuse me, Ms. Leibowitz, could I use your bathroom?”

“You don't have to call her that.” Larry, Jon, and Jo all say in unison.

Her clients don't even call her that.

“Hey if the kid wants to pay me some respect, let ‘em.” Maggie walks over to where Stephen is sitting and grabs his thick-haired head and nestled it in her chest like she was his mother. “The bathroom’s the first door on the right, sweetie.” She points to the back hallway, kisses his head and tousles his hair.

Stephen gets up and smiles back a smile at Jon that says “what just happened?” and Jon smiles back a “Just go with it.”

Maggie maneuvers her way back to the kitchen and finishes making her coffee. “I like that boy.”

“Yeah, me too.” Larry chimes in. “What's his name again?”

“Stephen,” Jo speaks up for Jon. 

“Does Dan know about him?” Larry doesn't even look up, still sorting through the filebox of papers on the table. “Ya know he called here the other day; he didn't even know you you moved.”

“ _ I _ didn't even know I was moving.” Jon defends, “and I haven't even talked to him since the summer so why would I be talking to him now?” 

“Well he was your first love,” Maggie teases.

“Fuck you; where are my keys?” Jon runs a taught hand through his hair. 

“They're on the hook by the door, jeez.” She says sipping her coffee a little bit surprised by Jon's tone.

“Tell Stephen I'm in the car.” Jon says slamming the door.

He doesn't need this. His family is always causing a bunch of shit for him.

If you're wondering, and you probably are, Dan was a really close friend Jon had in sophomore year until the summer of junior year when everything just went to shit. And yes Jon did love Dan. And yes, they may have been a little more than friends. And yes, he may have shared his first kiss (technically second) with him. But no, that doesn't mean anything.

Jon's not gay. He's not. It's hard for people understand that but when he... _ you know _ … at night he thinks of girls...mostly. And he  _ enjoys _ it!

Dan  _ was _ his best friend and that's all. Stephen feels like something more, though.

Stephen feels like the kind of person who might actually really care about Jon, like he would at least try to understand him.

So he doesn't want his douchebag older brother and cunty aunt saying shit to him to scare him away.  _ Is that too much to ask? _

_ Knock knock. _

Oh, he locked the doors. Stephen smiles at Jon through the window as Jon reaches over to pull up the lock.

Stephen climbs in the car still smiling. “Your family’s awesome.”

Jon just smiles at him, even though that point is most definitely debatable.

Jon turns the key and starts the car and the engine is the only sound for the entire car ride as Jon watches Stephen slowly fall asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's just so gay *shakes my head at myself* so so so gay

Jon has never liked school but he's always tolerated it. They deemed him as “gifted” when he was really young so he's been in advanced classes all his life. When they see his good grades, people just assume he's a good student but, honestly, he just knows when and when not to cheat.

Stephen, on the other hand, thinks that the majority of school is a monumental waste of time. What Jon learns from being in school for 4 weeks with him is that he skips most of the time and, like he said, nobody ever notices. Jon likes to say that nobody notices him but when Stephen says nobody notices him,  _ he means it _ . Two of Stephen's teachers don't even call him by the right name half the time.

Stephen doesn't talk much in class or actually show up and maybe that's part of it but isn't it, like, someone's responsibility, or some shit, to make sure that every student can succeed? Nobody cares about Stephen at school-- not the students, not the teachers-- so why should he care about them?

The bell rings and all the kids in study hall get up to go to their next class. Jon and Stephen have Econ next but this is usually the time Stephen splits off to go to the library or wherever. Stephen begins heading right when Jon grabs his arm, “Wait, I wanna go with you.”

“To the library?”

“Or wherever.” Jon shrugs with a little grin, trying to stay cool as possible. He's never done anything so flagrantly disobedient. Its exciting.

A smile spread across Stephen's lips as he takes Jon's hand and just about pulls him all the way to the library.

_ Oh my god, we're holding hands. _

When they get there, there’s no one at the front desk and they zip straight through to the back. 

Jon's probably been to this library all of 3 times so it makes sense that he wouldn't have noticed the entire section they have on Mathematical and Physical Theory. It also makes sense, now, why Stephen never gets caught: who the fuck reads this shit? The books look like they're gathering dust. The first book that catches his eye has a white spine, it's 2 and a half inches thick with navy script that reads  _ The Mechanics of Lighting _ . Even in a college prep school, who would read that? Honestly.

“So this is where you run off to?”

Stephen sits down on the floor and signals Jon to sit down with him. “Nobody comes back here.” he shakes his head and laughs softly.

Jon sits down right next to Stephen with his knees up to his chest.

“So what do you usually do here?” Jon asks, trying to come off inquisitive.

“Really, Jon?”

Jon doesn't get it. “What?”

“We’re in a library,” Stephen says with mock-disappointment, gesturing around the room.

_ He reads in here, asshole. You knew that. _

Jon just puts his head down and Stephen slips an arm around his shoulder and laughs. “But you're here so let's just talk?”

Jon raises his head, “Did you finish that Tolkien book?”

“I finished that a long time ago.” Stephen says. “I got this new book yesterday-- it's about the philosophy of feminism and how it’s developed-- I didn't really care much about that stuff but I started it and it's kinda interesting.”

“My aunt’s a feminist. ” Jon mentions. “She says they're all crazy.”

“My uncle says they're all lesbians.” Stephen laughs a little.

“Dude, my aunt says that too but I think that's ‘cause she had a lot of girlfriends back when she was an activist.” Jon replies and laughs back. “But she also says, they just want common sense stuff like having access to birth control and not getting groped by higher ups and basic shit like that.”

“Your aunt's fuc- really awesome.”

Jon cracks a smile at that little broken off curse word that Stephen let slip. “You can say “fuck” I'm not gonna tell on you.”

“I'm Catholic. Jesus already knows.” Stephen smiles and shakes his head a bit then makes his way up off the floor. “I'm gonna try to find the book I was talking about-- maybe you can give it to your aunt?”

Jon nods and Stephen exits their little corner to go off and look for that book. Jon watches Stephen as he walks away and he can't lie and say that Stephen's butt is anything but flat because it just simply has nothing to it. But the way he walks, with such confidence and a spring in his step, makes Jon not even care. Stephen's usual plain (it's white today) t shirt falls perfectly upon his slim build and is even a bit tight in some places.

Jon stares as long as he can until the book shelves totally obstruct his view.

God, Stephen is really something isn’t he?

God, he’s totally fucking into this guy isn’t he?

_ Oh God. _

When Stephen gets back, he trips while sitting back down and falls with his lips centimeters away from Jon's. The book in his hand gets flung against the adjacent wall when Stephen lets go of it to grab onto the bookshelf that Jon’s leaning against. Jon's instinctive reaction would have been to laugh at someone falling, but Stephen was right there so, right now, he can hardly breathe.

“Your eyes are blue.” Stephen whispers like he just had a revelation.

“Yeah,” Jon exhales.

“I'm sorry, you don't really look up much so-- I just…never noticed”

Is Stephen blushing? Stephen's never blushed. Stephen's so confident and well spoken and oh my god Jon's blushing too. His face feels hot and he's uncomfortable.

“This is bullshit.” he whispers.

_ It’s bullshit that I can’t express my feelings like a normal fucking person. _

“What?”

Did he say that out loud?

“I'm sorry, I don't want this,” Jon turned his head away and Stephen lips brush against his cheek.

If Jon wasn't too chicken shit to look Stephen in the face, he would see the devastation and pain hit his kind eyes all at once. Stephen slumps backwards, using the bookshelf behind him to break the soft fall.

“Did someone tell you something?”

“Nothing that mattered.” Jon mutters into his lap. “I just don't want…”

“To kiss me?” Stephen finishes.

_ I just don't want it to be a mistake. _

“Cause I wanna kiss you.” Stephen breathes and Jon can see the other boy’s whole body shaking in his peripheral vision. 

“Why?”

Really. Why.

Why would anyone want to have anything to do with him? He's not particularly attractive. He doesn't have money or huge house. Stephen doesn't know this but, his dick’s not that impressive either. He’s just... _ Jon _ .

“I don't know.” Stephen sort of shrugs. “I really don't know cause I’ve  _ never in my life _ been attracted to another boy but for some reason I really  _ really _ like you.”

He doesn't know. That's probably the best answer Jon could’ve gotten. At least it wasn’t a fake answer.

“It's probably the jew fro.” Jon smiles and mumbles to himself quietly. “It gets ‘em every time.”

“What?”

“The reason why...you like me.” Jon covers his flushed face, smiling, and turns his head up in embarrassment. “I'm sorry that was a stupid joke.”

“What did you say-- a jew fro?” Stephen laughs between words. 

“No, I didn't say anything.” Jon dismisses,trying to hide his smile. 

“It is pretty wonderful,” Stephen reaches over to Jon and runs a hand through his thick black waves. Jon leans into it, silently encouraging Stephen to continue. Stephen brings himself closer and before Jon could think about it, their lips were touching. No, not touching, pushing against each other in the sloppiest way possible. Stephen's hand was still in his hair holding on like Jon would suddenly pull away and he could feel a gentle pull from the tight grip.

Wow. His first kiss-- besides that time in 7th grade where that girl Michelle and with Dan… 

Those doesn't count, though.

He just never imagined the one that counted would happen in the mathematical and physical theory section of a school library in Port Jefferson, Long Island.

But now he can't see it any other way.

When they break apart, Stephen's hands are still nestled in Jon's hair and he breathes out a “Fuck,” along with a smile and a breathless laugh. 

Jon nods in agreement. 

Fuck indeed.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I'm late with this guys. I was doing my hair and volunteering (for Bernie woo hoo) all weekend and I totally forgot to do it yesterday. Whatever, I hope you guys like it. :)

"Hey, Aunt Jo." Jon greets while hanging his sweatshirt up at the door. 

"Hi, honey." She says waving to him behind her with a mouthful of popcorn. “How was school?”

Jon quickly makes his way to the couch where she is and sits down. The excitement in his step is visible which is odd. He's not a very outwardly expressive person when it comes to personal matters but  _ this _ \-- it just seems uncontainable.

“Hey,” her eyebrows jolt up in surprise, which a smile she continues, “what's got you all bouncy?”

“I have to tell you something but when I tell you, you can't bring it up everyday or tell Maggie or Larry or Uncle Andy or Dad-- just-- can we not talk about it unless I bring it up?”

“If you murdered someone I don't wanna know.” Jo replies playfully.

Jon smiles, partially because of her response and partially because, “Stephen kissed me,” he blurts out before he could think about it.

“Well shit,” Jo says, after the initial moment of shock. She really would expect him to do something illegal before he'd ever come home gushing about  _ anyone _ .

“I kissed back,” he says next like it's all just coming back to him. “And we skipped class together.”

“Oh my god, that's adorable.” She puts hand above her heart. 

“I don't know why I'm telling you this.” Jon’s still smiling ‘cause he can't help it.  _ Stephen kissed him. _

“Oh my god, I can't believe you kissed a boy! Ya’know, I was always banking on Larry since he's very,” she makes a gesture that perfectly describes Larry in all his douchebaggery, “ya’know? But he's not a homo, he's just a fuckin’ snob.”

Jon cracks up, laughing. Jo has such a positive energy. Even when she's bashing Larry (one of their favorite family bonding activities) it comes off as fun despite how horrible it usually is. He loves Larry (like he's required to) but he really is an asshole. He hasn't spent significant time with Jo but they're already closer than his older brother ever got within his 18 years of life. He would never tell larry any of this.

“I mean, he comes home from Princeton like he's the shit but he's still running daddy’s errands.” She rolls her eyes and shakes her head.

Jon just snickers. He doesn't totally disagree.

“But I'm,  _ really _ , so happy  for you, Jon.” she put a hand on his wrist, with a genuine smile. “And I won't tell Maggie or Larry or your Dad or Andy, ok? And we don't even have to tawlk about it anymore.”

Aunt Jo is great.

Too bad not everyone can be like her. 

The next day at school, Jon’s in calculus, doing his work, like a good student, when Mr. Norman gets a call.

“Leibowitz.” 

Jon looks up.

“Guidance.” 

Jon gets up, “Should I bring my stuff?”

“If you want.” Mr. Norman shrugs.

Jon grabs his bag and starts walking towards the office. Why would they call him. He doesn't underachieve, he doesn't overachieve so what could this be? 

He walks into the guidance office and the secretary just points back to his guidance counselor's office. 

He didn't notice before but the lady who helped him find his Econ classroom in the first day of school, with the blue dress is his guidance counselor. She's nice enough, a bit intimidating but only because she really cares about the kids.

He peeps his head through the window on her door and she gestures for him to enter.

Putting his bag down, he sits.

“What are you doing, Jon?”

“Sitting…? Should I not?” Jon says, stuck squatting over the chair.

“You’ve been here a month and you're already running with the wrong crowd.”  she makes a “sit, sit” gesture so Jon sits. “How did you even find the wrong crowd so fast?”

The wrong crowd? It's like he's just been thrown into the middle of a conversation he didn’t intend to be in.

“What are you talking about?”

She sighs like Jon had been here before (he hasn't) countless times (again, zero times) and like she wasn't mad but _ disappointed _ . “Jon, why are you skipping class?”

“‘Skipping’ implies that it's a recurrence.” Jon retorts, now understanding exactly why he's here. “I did it once.”

She pauses, for a second like she didn’t expect him to be so quick. “Ah, but your little buddy, Stephen? Yeah, he's had a total of 12 absences just in this quarter alone and it's only March.”

“So why haven't you done anything?” Jon’s leaning back in his chair now. He's wholly convinced he hasn't done anything wrong.

“His GPA is over 3.0.” She mumbles to herself like she’d been looking for a reason to bust Stephen for years. “Policy states that if absences interfere with with your performance, you are subject to punishment and, I don’t know how, but that is not the case with Mr. Colbert.”

Jon smiles wickedly. “See, he didn’t do anything wrong and neither did I. So, can I leave?”

“You can't,” She says bluntly. “I need to make sure you'll never do this again, Jon. As a guidance counselor, I  _ guide _ you-- it's my job. You are so bright and you have everything ahead of you--”

“I skipped  _ one _ class!  _ Once _ !” the exasperation in his voice apparently did something.

She sighs. “Okay Jon,”

“I can go?” He's already halfway out of his seat.

“Well yes but,” Jon stands up, “ _ Sit down _ . There's one more thing: we really don't tolerate PDA here so don't...do it again.”

_ Whaaaaaa _ ...

“What are you…?” 

_ Oh my god, he can't breathe. How did they…? Who told…? _

“The same person who saw you in the library also saw you and Stephen _...together.” _

Jon feels lightheaded.

“It's okay, okay? Just don't do it again.” 

They're not making eye contact and the room goes silent for a minute or two. 

“You can go now. Don't forget what we--”

Jon got up and left before she had a chance to finish whatever she was going to say. He couldn't get out of there any quicker. He rushed out with His head down, trying to hide the flush of his cheeks. He would of his face all the way back to calc but he bumps into someone and looks up.  _ Stephen _ . 

“Hey,” the smile he has when he initially sees Jon fades. Then, Jon felt Stephen's arms around him. “Hey what's wrong?”

“Someone saw us yesterday,” Jon says, out of breath like he had been running from something ( _ ahem _ , his feelings maybe). 

“Oh yeah, I know; I got suspended too.” Stephen says rather nonchalantly.

“They suspended you?” Jon looks up at him, eyes wide. He realises they're standing in the middle of the hallway, Stephen is holding him like he's a small child, running his hand through his thick black hair and he doesn't even care. That's new.

“They didn't suspend you?” 

“No, they didn't.” Jon says, breaking their hug. “What the fuck?”

“Did you...want to get suspended?” Stephen furrows his brow.

“My guidance counselor said they couldn't punish you because your GPA isn't low enough.” Jon is outraged. “What the fuck? They can't fucking do that.”

“Jon, calm down.” Stephen put a hand on his shoulder. “You're yelling; someone's gonna come out here.”

Jon starts pacing. School without Stephen? What's that even like? I mean, he knows what it's like and it always feels inexplicably empty. He knows he's only known Stephen for about a month but he already lov-- likes him a lot.

“Jon say something.” Stephen's just watching him walk back and forth aimlessly.

“I'm sorry.” He feels like pulling his hair out. Wait. Stephen has his backpack on. “Wait, are you leaving?”

“Yeah, I got suspended; they said I could go now so...”

“Who suspended you?”

“Dr. Spelding.” 

“Why now, though?” This doesn't seem right. If Stephen has 12 absences this quarter, why didn't they suspend him on the third or fourth? And how is Dr. Stick-In-His-Ass still allowed to suspend him if his GPA is over 3.0? “Wait; why did he suspend you?”

“Because we were kissing in the library.” again, Stephen says it like it's no big thing. “Oh he also said,  _ homosexual activity of any kind will not be tolerated _ .” he adds, in a mocking tone of voice.

Everything's coming together now. Dr. Tall-Dark-and-Insecure doesn't give a fuck about absences. If he did, he’d give Stephen more school (detention or Saturday school or something) not ban him from it all together. Their principal is grossed out by two boys kissing. Ha! That's fucking rich.

“We should do something about this.” A sinful little smile crept up on his lips.

“Like what?”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M LATE AGAIN OMG  
> I'm sorry guys. Our internet was down yesterday and, foreal, I've been writing this chapter since I /posted/ ch4 so it's been a long time. But hey, on the upside it's pretty long so i hope that's some type of consolation. Umm...warnings for this chapter: it just gets really gay near the end. yup.

Stephen's not going to be at school today so neither will Jon.

They made an agreement that they were going to do everything in their power to get Dr. Asscrack fired. Ya’know-- for fun. 

Jon's actually been doing his research: He read the school policy and he's gathered that the general consensus, among students and teachers, is that this principal is a dick. Not only a dick but a very small dick with erectile dysfunction that overcompensates by making sure that everyone is completely fucked.

Jon is at Stephen's house for the first time in the 31 days (who's counting?) they've known each other. He met his mother this morning and she is an absolute joy. She made them a huge breakfast of bacon (he's a reformed jew, okay?), eggs, pancakes and basically the type of breakfast you only get at grandma’s house. Jon doesn't usually eat breakfast on weekdays-- hell not even on weekends-- but Stephen's mom is  _ so _ sweet; he couldn't turn her down. Now he sees where Stephen gets all his wonderfulness from.

Stephen's mom, Mrs. Colbert, has to leave for work about 10 minutes after they all finish breakfast. She actually volunteers at their church every Friday morning then goes to work. She's a social worker-- not the kind who take away children from good parents but the kind that works with people in their old age to make sure they're comfortable, and most important, never lonely. When she leaves, she gives them both a kiss and a smile and she's out the door.

After that it's really quiet, the only sound being the sound of the faucet from Stephen washing their dishes. Then Stephen says, “So this is fun,” acknowledging the complete awkwardness of the moment.

See, because Jon came over first thing in the morning wanting to tell Stephen that he came up with a plan. Yes an elaborate plan, but still doable. It might take 2 months or so but how great would it be, for everyone, if Dr. I-Can-Do-No-Wrong maybe got caught doing some shady shit. So, no, Stephen didn't actually invite him.

“Why didn't you go to school?” Stephen asks while he’s drying off his hands.

“It's Friday.”  _ Because you won't be there. _ “I can't miss much.”

Stephen sits back at the table with Jon, “You shoulda said because I wasn’t gonna be there.”

Jon can tell he's kidding but it still catches him off guard. He laughs awkwardly.

"I can't believe I finally got suspended.” Stephen laughs at the fact. “I guess they were waiting for concrete evidence of my delinquency.”

“Cause  _ you _ look like a criminal.”

“Hey, what are you trying to say?” He furrows his brows, acting as upset as he can.

“I mean look at you:” Jon gestures up and down Stephen’s body. “You're too skinny.”

Stephen gasps overdramatically.

“And your hair’s too bouncy and your smile’s too fucking adorable.”

Stephen looks down and laughs and actually doesn't know what to say. Jon doesn't know what to say either. He's never this forward. 

Jon laughs breathlessly, “I mean…”

They're both blushing now when Stephen says, “I know what you mean.”

“If you were a criminal, though, you would probably be like a con man or something.” Jon swiftly changes the subject.

“You think I'm sneaky and deceitful?” Stephen looks up cracking up a bit.

“I was thinking charming and charismatic.”

“Well, then, I could also be a cult leader “ Stephen denotes.

“I would join your cult.” Jon shrugs with a smile

“I know you would.” 

Jon clears his throat.

“So why are you here again?” Stephen asks. “I mean not that you're not a total joy to have around but.”

“I came up with a plan and I... wanted to tell you...” the enthusiasm in his statement dwindles as he realizes how stupid this is. Yeah, they agreed it would be fun to marginally ruin their principles life but how could Jon be so stupid to think that Stephen actually meant it.

“Oh my god, really?” Stephen's eyes unexpectedly light up. Jon nods a little reluctantly  but ends up smiling. “Oh my god, Tell me!”

So Jon told Stephen his plans, they set a course of action and everything but just ended up writing a joke for the school paper under an anonymous pseudonym criticizing Dr. Doom and the paper actually published it. Submitting the joke was sort of a joke in itself so this wasn't supposed to happen.

But Jon's happy that it did.

Here's what they wrote: 

What do you call a student who says they like this school?

A liar.

What do you call a teacher who says they like their boss?

Also a liar.

What do you call the person who believes them?

Dr. Spelding.

It wasn't even that funny. They were just tired and they hadn't done anything all day except play the NES that Stephen's church gave him for christmas after his dad and brothers died. Jon came over with the most elaborate plan to get their principle fired that included a student teacher scandal and a mild fire but he just scrapped the whole thing when Stephen handed him a controller with a smile. He could never resist that smile.

Or those lips. He's kissed those lips, ya’know. Speaking of that kiss, they  _ aren't _ speaking of it. Even when Stephen got super close to him-- he's a naturally physical person-- it just never came up. And Jon doesn't want it to come up,really, but he knows it will and he's super on edge about it. He's shit at expressing his feelings. Stephen is either afraid to mention it like Jon or doesn't think it's a big deal. Either way, that kiss is the reason they wrote that dumb joke and why they're in the school paper. They'll have to acknowledge it eventually.

Or just keep doing it and never talk about it ever. Yeah. They should do that.

Jon submitted their joke Monday (the second day of Stephen's suspension) and the next Monday (the sixth day) was when that paper got published and every student got a copy. Jon was told that kids don't even read the papers they just cut out the activities schedules in the back so that's why he was okay with submitting that joke.

But people did read it. Everyone read it. Except for the doctor himself. The irony was rich.

So now, Jon’s in calculus, doing nothing as usual, as his teacher just comes and sits in the desk next to him.

“Yes?” Jon turns to him. He would shuffle to act like he's doing something but he has a pretty solid grade in this class so he doesn't even think of it. A lot of the seniors were gone for a physics trip so they weren't doing much.

“I saw your joke.” Mr. Norman then smiles. “It wasn't funny but it took guts.”

“How’d you know it was me?” Jon was actually confused. 

“Cause I know you don’t give a damn about the consequences.” Mr. Norman shakes his head slowly with a chuckle.

“What are the consequences?” 

“You're a smart kid, you've met Spelding. You can probably assume what might happen.” He says. “I just wanted to talk to you about the film club”

Wait what?

“I wanted to do a satirical documentary piece about this school ever since Spelding took it over this year.” Mr. Norman begins. “But the kids wanted to do a drama and one group is doing a  _ film noir _ .” he rolls his eyes. “Anyways, me and the chem teacher, Mrs. Delores, you know her?” Jon shakes his head no. “Well, we run the film club and we have our competition at the end of May in the city so there's not much time to put something together but we register next week to compete so you can think about it but uh...We have a meeting after school today if you want to check it out.”

“Uh, sure.” Jon shrugs. “What would I be doing exactly?”

“Well we might have to write an outline but documentaries basically write themselves.” 

“So what would I be doing?” He repeats.

Mr. Norman glances at the clock; class is going to end soon. “Here, come here, to this room, right after school and I'll tell you everything.” 

Then the bell rang.

Sooner than he knew it, school was over and he was right back where he was 5 hours ago.

When he walks back into his calculus class room he sees a bunch of kids he had never seen before. They are, presumably, underclassmen and Jon isn't taller than a single one. That has nothing to do with anything but if Stephen were there he’d definitely point that out and Jon would roll his eyes but secretly find it charming and Stephen would giggle and put an arm around his shoulder then pull him closer.  _ Stephen _ . He can't wait until he gets back tomorrow.

Oh, people are trying to talk to him.

“Sorry, what?”

“Are you new?” a girl with black hair covering one eye and the remaining one with heavy dark shadow all over her lids asks him with a low monotonous voice. She must be working on the drama piece, Jesus.

“Uh, yeah, Mr. Norman invited me so I--”

“Okay, well sign in here.” she interrupts and shove a clipboard towards him. “Name, date, grade; I'll get Mr. Norman.” Then she walks away.

Jon signs his name-- he's tempted to put Stuart instead of Leibowitz but decided against it. Then, Mr. Norman comes over and says hi.

“Everyone's sort of doing their own thing today,” He explains the commotion in the room and sits down next to him in a vacant desk in the back of the room. “Do you have a friend that might be interested in doing this with you? ‘cause it might be a lot of work.”

_ Stephen _ .

“Yeah,” he smiles way bigger than he should.

“Good.” his teacher nods and puts a paper on his desk. “Well here’s all the requirements-- just minor stuff. Has to be at least 7 minutes, can't be more than 45, can't use copyrighted footage in an exploitative manner-- everything like that.”

Jon picks up the guidelines which are, ironically, shorter than this school’s page and a half dress code policy. “Okay,”

“So what you would need to do today, if you're serious about this is discuss it with your friend and write an outline of how you want this to go, okay?” Jon nods. “Then come back tomorrow with something rough-- your friend couldn't come with you?”

“Dr. Spelding actually suspended him last week; he's back to school tomorrow.” Okay, Jon sounds way too excited.

“For something stupid, probably?” Mr. Norman rolls his eyes.

“Yeah, PDA.” Jon says nonspecifically.

“So teenagers can't even be teenagers anymore.” his teacher said under his breath. “Well, talk to him today, see if he wants to do it with you, brainstorm some ideas and we’ll talk about it tomorrow in class.”

When Jon gets home, he almost immediately runs to the phone to call Stephen but Jo’s already leaning against the wall with it held up to her ear.

Her eyes widen a bit. “Hey, hey; what's the rush?” She chuckles.

“Sorry, i just needed to tell Stephen something.” He runs a hand down the back of his neck.

Jo laughs again, “I know you dont like me sayin’ it but you two are absolutely adorable.”

Jon groans. “Are you even on the phone?”

“I'm on hold with the cable people.” Jo says with a little irritation in her voice. “How was school? I thought you were over at Stephen's already; isn't it about 4 o’clock?”

“I was staying after school for a club thing.” Jon says anxiously. He groans again, “Can't you just call them back?”

“Jon don't be annoying.” she looks at him sternly. “I've been on hold with these assholes for about half an hour; they were supposed to fucking come today, now they won't pick up their goddamn phones."

Jon runs a hand through his hair. “Oh my fucking god.”

She takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. “Why don't you just drive over there? That's what you've been doing all week.”

“His mom said they were painting his room today and asked me not to come over today.” Jon dismisses the idea. “He’s also volunteering at church tonight for...whatever Catholics do; something with Easter.”

“Well you're gonna have to wait, sweetie.”

Jon just sighs, loudly so it was unmistakably clear that he was upset. He goes to his room and plops down on his bed with a notebook and a pen and starts on that outline. This film thing could be pretty cool (not to mention much less complicated than his original plan and probably take a less amount of time.)

Later, around 8 o’clock, the phone rings (yes, Jo was off of hold by then). Jon doesn't answer beacuse, even though it might be Stephen, he's still a lazy teenager. Jo answers it and calls from the front of the house, “Jon, it's your boyfriend.”

Somewhere along the way, during the time between the time when they kissed and right now (11 days, but really, who’s counting? What? Jon’s not counting. Ha! What? No), somehow the word “boyfriend” has become synonymous with “Stephen.”

He would never say that though.

“Hello?” Jon answers like he doesn't know who it is.

“Hey, Jon.” Jon can hear the smile in his voice.

“Hi Stephen.” Jon smiles too. “Everyone saw our joke-- our shitty, shitty joke.”

Stephen giggles. “Did Dr. Spelding have a hissy fit?”

Jon starts pacing back and forth as far as the cord will let him “No but my Calc teacher, Mr. Norman-- you have him too, right?”

“Yeah, for trig.”

“Yeah, well he's in charge of the film club with the chem teacher and he wants us to enter some contest in May with them; he wanted to do something funny, I guess?”

“Funny? Did he see our joke? Did he actually read it?”

Jon laughs. “I think he’s going off of how much of an asshole I am in class.”

“You're not,” Stephen lowers his voice to a whisper. “an asshole.”

Jon smiles at the timid way Stephen (always) says curse words. “Is your mom around?”

“No she's downstairs.” Stephen replies.

“Then why'd you whisper asshole?”

“Not everyone can be like you, Jon. Some of us have morals.” Stephen says superficially.

Jon laughs.  “Oh says the person who literally breaks every rule he can possibly break.”

“Hey the only reason you didn't get suspended is that you're new and he wants you to like him before you realise that he's fucking crazy.” Stephen tries to defend himself.

Stephen doesn't always (more like almost never) curse but when he does, Jon can actually physically feel his pupils dilating.

“I'm sorry.” Stephen corrects himself. Jon feels bad for a split second for being a bad influence on him but then remembers how much he loves it when Stephen forgets to filter himself.

“Don't be.” Jon says with the dopiest little smile on his face.

“Jon,” Stephen whines. “You do realise I  _ actually do _ have to kiss my mother with this mouth?”

“You could just kiss me.” Jon suggests with a shrug and a smile, alarmingly nonchalant about it.

Why doesn't Jon care? This is way past his level of comfort when it comes to, well,  _ outwardly emoting _ but he doesn't care.

“That actually sounds great right now.”

Jon smiles and sighs with relief. He never thought being open and honest would make him feel safer than being guarded and repressive.

“Y’know I think about kissing you just about every time I see you.” Stephen adds, his tone hushed. “When you came over after church yesterday and hugged me I almost did it.”

Jon glances over to his aunt where she is, reading on the couch, then whispers back into the phone, facing the wall, “You should’ve.”

“My mom would have a heart attack.” Stephen laughs a little.

“I know but if she wasn't there…”

“Jon, if she wasn't there we could do a lot of things.” 

_ Fuck _ . He did not expect that.

“What would you do?”

Abort.  _ Abort _ .

“Well, I'd pull you up to my room,” Stephen begins, his whispers turning into something more gruff. “I'd shut the door, lock it if course, and push you against it.”

_ Oh my god, if you get a boner in front of your aunt... _

“Yeah?”

“And I'd kiss you so hard and so long that we would only stop for air.”

“ _ Stephen _ ,”

“Yeah?” Stephen breathes. “Should I stop?”

“ _ No, _ ”

“Well,” Stephen begins again. “I'd start kissing your neck and pull your hair; I know you like that.”

Jon bites his lip. _ How the hell did he know that? _ “Mmmhmm.”

“Then I'd stick my hand up your shirt; feel your chest,” Stephen adds. “Maybe...rub your nipples--”

“Do you need me to leave?” Jo says breaking the silence in the room, making Jon jump and drop the phone. The phone swings back and forth on its chord and hits the wall a couple times.

“Fuck!” Jon frantically picks the phone back up and holds it to his ear.

Jo barely keeps herself from laughing. “Sounds like it's gettin’ a little sexual so I'm just gonna go, okay?” she announces, heading towards her bedroom.

Jon lets out a heavy sigh riddled with giggles. “Oh my god,” Jon slaps a hand to his forehead.

“Jon? What was that?” Stephen’s tinny voice brought him back to reality.

“Jo thought we were having phone sex,” Jon starts to explain.

“We were on our way.”

“Stephen, oh my god! You were literally just talking about not wanting to kiss your mother with your dirty mouth!”

“I know but you just…” Stephen stops for a second. “...you make me want to do things I've never done before.”

“You make me want to get a phone in my room.” Jon laughs.

“Wait, you're not in your room?” 

“No, my aunt has a super old phone with the circular number thing-- the, uh, rotary kind-- and it's only on this wall in the living room.” Jon sighs.

“Jon! If you woulda said you were in the living room, in front of your  _ aunt _ , I wouldn’t’ve said... _ any of that _ \-- I'm so sorry “ Stephen exacerbates.

“Stephen it's fine. Trust me: she remains unfazed.” Jon laughs-- Stephen's so fuckin’ adorable. “Are you in your room? Is it still drying?”

“I'm in the guest room, “ Stephen mentions. He seems to have calmed down a little.

“What color did you choose?” Jon leans against the wall, totally relaxed now.

“It's green now.” Stephen says. “I don't know, it's been blue all my life-- and your aunt always talks about spring, new life, and all that.”

“Green’s perfect.” Jon smiles then hears Stephen yawn and smiles even bigger. “You tired?”

“No I can--” he yawns again. “It's only like 8:30.”

“No, go to bed,” Jon insists. “Anyway, you'll be in school tomorrow and we can talk all day and not pay attention just like we always do.”

“Okay,” Stephen concedes. “See you, tomorrow.”

“Bye, Stephen.”   
_ I love you. _


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stephen's back at school ayyye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys. im not late *raises roof*

It's Tuesday morning. The first day it's really looked like spring since the season actually changed. The sky is a vibrant blue and the bright sun is melting the ice below, leaving patches of dormant grass all over. The squishy, muddy,  ground is full of new life. It's such a wonderful day, Jon decides to walk to school instead of drive for the first time since his first day.

This Tuesday morning also happens to be Stephen's first day back after his suspension. Jon never thought he’d be excited to go to school but he never thought he’d live in Long Island with his aunt or be entering a film contest or fall in-- ahem, become best friends with a Catholic boy a year and a half younger than him.

Well, Jo _is_ always talking about spring, new life, new beginnings and all that.

One downside about Stephen coming back, though, is that he can't skip class anymore. His grades dropped pretty significantly because of his 7 day suspension. So, if he skips any more, Dr. Asshole might expel him this time. For what reason, exactly? He’ll probably make some shit up because he can't expel him for bad grades (at least not yet) or skipping if it's not the primary reason for grades dropping. It's right in the school policy. He read it.

But they share 4 classes together so it can't be all bad. 

Calculus flies by, as usual, because he doesn't pay attention. Five minutes before class ends, he tells Mr. Norman, he wrote up an outline but he had to share it with Stephen next period.

It's second period now and, maybe 30 seconds before the bell rings, Stephen walks in and plops down right next to Jon.

“How was 1st period?” Jon asks. The bell just rang so there's still a lot of commotion in the large study hall room.

“Like I never even left.” Stephen shrugs. “I guess everyone failed that stoichiometry test so their relearning everything.”

“You didn't fail?”

“Nope,” Stephen shrugs, looking down.

He seems very sad and his movements are slow and lifeless. When he puts his backpack on the ground, he drops it and slumps backwards in the uncomfortable chair, slouching with his legs spread.

“Dude, you okay?” Jon asks softly, as most of the other kids begin settling down. “Did something happen? Do you need to talk?”

“I think I should drop out.” Stephen says passively, with no change in his expression.

“What the fuck?” Jon blurts out. “You can't drop out.”

Stephen sits up, “Yeah I can; I'm 16. I legally don't have to be here anymore.”

“But…” Jon stumbles.

“And I could probably get a job and I could pay some of my mom's bills or something; It'd be way better than wasting 7 hours here everyday.” Stephen shrugs.

“Stephen, what the _fuck_?” Jon repeats. “Where did this come from? What happened?”

“Dr. Spelding called me to his office and he told me a bunch of crap: don't kiss boys anymore, I can't skip, I'm making my teachers’ lives horrible,” Stephen tells him. “and I argued; I said, ‘well I wouldn't skip if I could take the things that actually mattered’ and I told him I never skip English or History and he said,” he takes a deep breath and slowly exhales. “That if I hate school so much I should just drop out.”

“Stephen, he's a fucking dick--”

“I know, and most of the time he's wrong but I think he has a point here.”

Jon knows it's selfish but he can't think of anything else to say so he says, “But what about me?”

Stephen picks his head up and Jon sees his wet brown eyes for the first time today.  It doesn't look like he's shed a single tear today but it looks like he's about to start bawling.

Jon raises his hand, “Uh, Ms. Johnson, Stephen says he has a headache; can I walk him to the nurse?” He says this, all while looking straight at Stephen and giving him a slight nod.

“A head ache?” Ms. Johnson cocks her eyebrow.

“Yeah, a fucking headache.” Jon turns his head to her and says in frustration. He just wants to get out of there so he can talk to Stephen and Stephen can cry. Because he knows he Stephen needs to cry and the study hall room, full of freshmen and delinquents with no hall pass privileges, is not the place.

“Aye, watch your mouth, Jon; you want me to write you up?” Ms. Johnson pointed an ironically pointless finger.

“You can write up a pass for us to go to the nurse.” Jon retorts and looks back at Stephen, whose head is hanging but he can see a faint smile creep up on his quivering lips. Stephen’s realized what's going on by now.

“C’mere,” she says, sounding a little defeated. (Fun fact for the future kids: if you challenge a teacher on something, they're more likely to back down than to fight back! What are they gonna do hit you? Ha! That's illegal!)

Jon and Stephen walk up to her desk, Stephen’s head is still hanging-- he's really playing the part.

“Stephen, honey, look at me.” Stephen lifts his head and Ms. Johnson sees what Jon saw: eyes wet welled up with tears, flushed cheeks and a quivering lip.

“I think it's a migraine.” He mutters out shakily, playing up the drama a little bit. 

Ms. Johnson gasps and puts a soft hand over her mouth. “Okay, I'm writing you a pass to the nurse but you can't go alone?”

“I feel like I'm gonna faint.” Stephen runs taught hands through his hair and wipes a stray tear from his cheek.

She reaches out to give Jon the pass and yanks it back when Jon tries to grab it. “You come back to class when you're done.”

Jon glares at her and snatches the pass from her cold, manicured fingers. “It's _study hall_.”

Jon and Stephen walk out of the room and as soon as they're out of the sight of Ms. Johnson, Stephen reaches for Jon's hand to hold and begins laughing.

Stephen looks at him, and his eyes are still red and wet and full of anguish but he smiles at Jon, while they're walking down the hallway swinging their linked hands. “I hate you,” he laughs.

“I didn't want anything to happen in front of those fucking freshmen.” Jon looks up and smiles back. “And if you need to talk or cry or throw something, I wanted you to be able to.”

“You would cuss out a teacher _for me_?” Stephen said with mock infatuation and a hand to his heart. 

Jon only gets a chance to laugh before Stephen quickly changes the subject. “But would you be mad at me if I dropped out?”

Their hands are still swinging together as they walk aimlessly through the halls.  “You want the truth?”

“Yes, you’d be mad at me.” Stephen says. “You don't even have to tell me.”

“Well, yeah I would be mad-- like really really pissed off.” Jon begins to explain. “But, I wouldn't tell you that. I'd say if you feel like it's what's best for you…”

“Is that the lie?” Stephen looks down at him. He's wiped some of the tears from his face and his voice is no longer shaking.

“Yup.” Jon looks down.

“You would let me drop out to spare my feelings?” Stephen reprimands.

Before Jon realizes Stephen is kidding he says, “What the fuck, Stephen? I can't make you do anything. If you're gonna do it then do it but you're gonna miss out on our film, you're gonna miss my graduation, you're gonna miss Spelding’s face when we finally make him realize how much of a dick he is. You're gonna miss...fuckin’ everything.”

“Jon, I was joking.” Stephen stops in the middle of one of the junior locker hallways. They're still holding hands and maybe it means something. Maybe it means that despite Jon's emotionally supressive nature and Stephen's insecurities, they can still hold on to eachother. Or maybe Stephen just hasn’t let go yet. But Jon lets go and his hands feel cold.

Jon runs his hands through his hair and yells, “Fuck,” then sighs, “I'm sorry.”

“It's ok.” Stephen says calmly but Jon know it's not okay. He's never been _frustrated_ with Stephen before. The worse part about it, though, is that it's coming from a selfish place. He doesn't want Stephen to drop out because he wants Stephen here, with him, not because he might not get accepted to a college or have a hard time getting a job. No, it's completely selfish and he hates himself for that.

“I'll still show up to see you graduate. I would never miss that.” Stephen grabs his hand again and looks straight into his dull blue eyes.

“Yeah but what about the film contest?”

_“Yeah but what about me?”_ was what he meant to say.

“What about us making Spelding cry?” Jon asks and he's kind of pouting now.

“I do wanna see that.” Stephen puts a pensive look on his face and Jon looks at him and smiles.

“Right?”

“Should we make a plan for that or something? Our movie?”

Jon then wrestles out a wrinkled up piece of loose leaf paper from his pocket with his left handed chicken scratch scribbled all over it.

“I'm glad you asked.” and they both laugh.

They sit down next to each other with their backs to the lockers lining the hall and just read through it. They laugh -- quietly because they're technically cutting class-- their asses off for the rest of the period and Stephen says he'll talk to his mom about everything before he makes any decisions. His mom's a very smart, level headed, kind-hearted person so Jon’s relieved for now.

Maybe a minute before the bell rings Stephen leans his head on Jon's and says, “I love you, ya know?”  
“I’d hope so.” Jon says softly and he doesn't think Stephen heard him but he hopes he knows he loves him too. He _really_ fucking loves him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that didn't come out of nowhere. It'll be relevant later. This story is so needlessly complicated omg but uh yah leave a comment cus i live for your feedback <3


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO IM LATE AF AND ABOUT TO GIVE YOU SOME DARK ASS SHIT. YOU'RE WELCOME.   
> I feel like an asshole guys. I skipped an entire week and on top of that this chapter is kinda dark, when I was editing i was so sad. But in order to compensate for me being an asshole and the sadness you might feel at the end of this, I'm gonna post chapter 10 either later tonight (if its not b/f midnight EST, its probably gonna be tomorrow) or tomorrow. I love each and every one of you guys. Everyone who leaves a kudo or a comment: you make my life <3  
> oh also warning for some homophobia :(   
> also heavy on the daddy issues this chapter :(

Jon drives home that day a little stressed out. He drops Stephen off at his house first but they don't talk much during the ride. Not because of anything worrying but Stephen literally starts nodding off two minutes after he hops into the passenger seat. Stephen's sleep patterns are unhealthy to say the least but Jon can't say anything because his are probably even shittier. When they arrive at his house, Jon wakes him up-- sort of accidentally?-- by brushing some hair out of his face. 

He's so beautiful when he sleeps.

“What?” Stephen says suddenly, a little disoriented.

“We’re at your house.”

Stephen looks around, “Oh yeah.” and smiles sort of dopily and rubs his eyes.

Jon smiles back and Stephen grabs his hand and sort of just stares at him for while before he says, “See you tomorrow.” with a smile.

Jon senses it would've been a kiss if Jon’s “reading the situation” face didn't look so confused.

C'mon, Leibowitz.

Jon’s drive after Stephen leaves goes from peaceful to anxiety inducingly silent and he doesn't like it. Best and worse part of peace and quiet: he can hear all of his thoughts.  _ All of them _ . 

It's fucking stupid because he’s always thinking about Stephen and Stephen just gave him another thing to think about.

If Stephen drops out, what will Jon do? And don't say  _ “what about stephen?” _ because Stephen will be fine. Yeah, there are the initial concerns like college or finding a stable career but once you factor in how smart, funny, beautiful and kind he is, those worries seem not to be as troublesome as you thought.

Jon's real concern is himself. It's not like Stephen will be moving away, he'll still be in Port Jefferson, but Jon is so (ill-adjusted) horrible at maintaining relationships that it's always all the way or nothing at all. And if Stephen drops out, he's afraid they won't even have a relationship anymore: not platonically, not romantically, not sexually. Nothing at all. Jon is just shit at dealing with things like this. He goes through denial, skips the other 4 stages and goes straight to repression.

When he pulls into the driveway

Pulling into the driveway derails him from his stressful thought train because he pulls in next to the Larry-mobile. This is not what he needs right now.

He walks in the house, hanging up his hoodie at the door, trying to make a quick dash to his room so maybe Larry won't know he's there. But alas, Larry is sitting in the in the living room, dressed in a stark white collared shirt and a clean blue tie (Jon wonders why he always dresses like he just came from a board meeting despite still being in grad school) drinking coffee with Jo and there is no escaping the wretched horror that is conversing with a douchebag.

“Hey Jon,” Larry says when Jon barely makes it passed him. Why is it that everytime he speaks, it sounds like he has sinister intentions?

“Don't talk to him,” Jo says for him, furrowing her brow. “Did you not pick up that he was trying to avoid you?”

Thank you, Jo.

“I was just gonna tell him about the uh…” he thinks of the word. “the uh, dinner.”

Jon’s curiosity is piqued. What is this? They don’t  _ eat together _ . Usually when they all get together as a family and have a “dinner”, someone feels bad about doing something to someone else and they want a formal way to “unite” the family so they don’t  _ actually _ have to apologize directly. The amount of pettiness it takes to even  _ think _ of doing all of that is certainly commendable. They're usually pretty awkward events but his cousins from his mom's side are pretty fun so he can usually escape all of that. He just wants to know who did what to who.

“What? What dinner? What happened?”

“Dad wants to have a dinner. May 13, at his house.” Larry explains.

“Did somebody die? Dad never invites people over.” Jon sits down next to Jo. “Wait why can't he just call? Why are you here?”

“He didn't want to make little Jonny upset.” Larry says in a mockingly sad tone with his bottom lip poked out. “In fact, he told me that you both prefer him not to be here--”

“We don't like you either.” Jo interrupts and takes a sip of her tea.

“I know you don’t mean that.” Larry smiles. “But I really think, he's having a midlife crisis because he keeps talking about how his “ _ family is falling apart _ ”” he waves his hands around pretty much sneering at the notion. “But whatever. It’s at his house, May 13--”

“Wait that's Stephen's birthday.” Jon realizes and interrupts him.

“You can bring your boyfriend, Jon, don't worry.” Larry sounds so condescending and Jo puts a reassuring hand on Jon’s knee to calm him down. “ And even if you don’t, you're going,” he points at Jo, “and you're going and Uncle Andy and Aunt Maggie and Aunt Sam, Aunt Lila, Uncle Gary, and Uncle Finn and all our cousins and we’re gonna be a fucking family goddammit.”

“Yikes,” Jo takes another sip and Jon laughs.

“Ya know, it's both of your faults that Dad’s freaking the fuck out right now.” Larry speaks more fiercely with a reprimanding finger pointing at both of them.

“Let him freak out.” Jo says. “He'll get over it-- and if he's  _ so _ distraught why couldn't he haul his ass over here and apologize himself instead of send his messenger boy to tell us he's holding a pity dinner?”

“It's not a pity dinner--”

“Oh honey, I've been alive much longer than you-- in this  _ family _ much longer than you-- I know a pity dinner when I see one, okay?” She gets up and extends an arm out to him and glances at the mug in Larry’s hand, “you need me to take that?”

“It's not a pity dinner--”

“It's a pity dinner!” Jo and Jon say in unison. Jo takes his mug and walks it to the kitchen.

“I'm not goin’ to dad's pity dinner so he can guilt me into loving him.” Jon chuckles at the thought.

“Ya know, Jon, you bitch and moan all the time about how horrible Dad is but once he needs you, you become the same asshole you accuse him of being.” Larry’s usually pretty calm and collected but he's lost it. “He didn't fucking beat you Jon-- and he could’ve. Just because he didn't treat you like the  _ princess _ you act like--”

“Shut up!” 

Jon gets up off the couch and pushes his brother with all the strength he has in his five foot six frame and Larry counters with a powerful blow to his face. 

“Don't fucking touch me pipsqueak!” he hears Larry shout as he feels himself falling to the ground.

The aching pain in his cheekbone is different than all the red hot anger that was rushing through his body. It's more like a slap back to reality because he realizes Larry is right: no one has ever hit him, not Dad and not Larry. This is the first time anyone has actually  _ hit _ him. Doesn’t that make him lucky? Had he been lying to himself, telling himself that neglect and verbal abuse was just as bad? Because nothing's felt as bad as what he's feeling right now.

 

He hears Jo yell “boys!” from the kitchen but it's so faint compared to everything that's rushing through his mind. Why didn't he hit back? Larry’s just taller, not stronger. If anything, he's weaker: he only works out enough to look good in suits. Jon could totally take him.  _ No you can't, you’d never hurt a soul.  _

_ Yes I would, asshole. I'm so sick of you not thinking I'm “man enough.” _

_ I'm not saying it. I'm just agreeing with it. Larry's right. If you don't like it get up and fight, pussy. _

_ I'll fucking fight you! _

_ “Jon?”  _ Jo had apparently rushed to Jon's aid and now she's stroking his hair. He doesn't think he passed out. He just...had a temporary lapse in awareness?

“Jo I'm fine.” Jon says while Jo is squeezing his cheeks and checking his forehead temperature. “Can you not to that it kinda hurts, sorry.”

“Oh I'm so sorry,” she quickly snatches her hands away. “Here, let me help you up.”

Jon hooks an arm around Jo’s shoulders and his aunt helps Jon stumble onto the couch. He realizes quickly that Larry had left. Guess he couldn't leave fast enough because Jon couldn't have been out for more than a minute. He sighs. It’s not a sigh of relief, it feels more defeatist. It’s not that he feels defeated, though, he just feels that it shouldn't have to be this way. 

Jo sits on the floor, perpendicular to the couch with her legs outstretched and sighs along with him.

“Jo?”

“Yeah?” 

“Was Larry an asshole before I was born?”

“Yup.”

Oh that's comforting to know: it's not Jon's fault 

“Okay, cool.” Jon nods. “Also…”

“Yeah?”

“Do you think I'm weak?”

“For not hitting back?”

“For not liking my dad.”

Jo twists her body so she can face Jon. “Well it depends why you don't like him.”

Jon looks at her. “You know why.”

“Tell me again I forgot.” Jon is silent so Jo begins. “Is it because he was drunk at your mom's funeral?”

Jon sighs. 

“Is it because he constantly invalidated your relationship with Dan?”

Wow just remembering this shit stresses him out.

“Maybe because he told you your dreams were stupid or because he treats Larry like a fucking king and he treats you like a peasant?”

Jo has turned her body all the way around at this point. She’s getting angry.

“Oh,  _ maybe _ it's because he fucked up your mom’s credit and tried to and got mad at her when she wanted a divorce.”

“He said I wasn't worth the 9 hours of labor it took to get me here.” Jon finally adds quietly. Jo’s been saying general things and they're all true but every time he thinks of his dad's most assholey moments he thinks of specifics. And when he thinks of them, he remembers exactly why he tries not to think of them.

Jo’s mouth drops in awe. “He  _ said that _ ?”

“Yeah.” Jon swallows. Maybe this is good. He never talks about this stuff, just lets it rot inside of him. “One time he told me to make sure I grow out of this “fag” thing before he I get married.”

Wow, he's never told anyone any of this. It never seemed like a big deal, though, because his Dad would just insult him in passing. He’d be wiping down the kitchen counters and say, “You'll have to do this too, if you don't get yourself a good wife.” or be watching TV and point at it and say “You think you could do this some day?” and then laugh. It all just seems so normal when it's happening but now that he's repeating it, he realizes how fucked up it is.

“He told the court he didn't want me even when he completed the mandatory AA.”

He's not crying. He feels like that's weird. His mom is dead and his dad doesn't want him-- never wanted him. Shouldn't that warrant at least one tear?

Jo's crying a little though. “What the fuck, Don?” She cries like her brother is right there.

“It's okay.” Jon tries to comfort her even though he should be the one being comforted. “It’s okay; c’mon don’t cry.”

Even though it's not okay. 

But what is he gonna do about it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ch 10 is so much lighter, I promise <3 look for it soon


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello. I'm back as promised (still late but I'm getting better ayyyye). Got a question for u guys at the end.

Jon and Stephen missed the film club meeting yesterday. They totally forgot about it: Stephen was too busy having existential crises and Jon was preoccupied being knocked out by his piece of shit brother. So they're waiting in Mr. Norman’s classroom for him to get back from a faculty meeting with a few other kids. The room is quiet; Jon can still feel the apparition of students struggling to grasp trigonometric concepts. The desks are in disarray, there's chalk dust in the air, pencils are scattered across the floor and calculators are separated from their covers-- it looks like it was evacuated rather than left peacefully. Eh. What else would you expect a math classroom to look like at the end of the day? But Jon likes the quiet as long as there's someone there to keep his mind out of the abyss (ahem, can you guess who that might be?).

There's two kids sitting by the back wall, talking softly about nothing Jon’s interested in-- a blonde boy and a blonde girl. The other kid, Sarah, the girl in all black from the last meeting, said she wanted to film it for them. She's way nicer than her “queen of darkness” persona let's on. She's wearing huge black platform boots (they look at least 5 inches) with black tights and a black, green and blue plaid long sleeve dress. She looks really good, Jon notices. 

She's sitting in Norman’s desk with her feet up, reading a book. Jon is sitting at a desk near the door and Stephen is sitting on that desk with his legs crossed, playing with Jon’s hair.

“You shouldn't cut your hair.” Stephen mentions mellowly while his long fingers tangle themselves in his dark loose curls.

It  _ is _ getting pretty long. He hasn't cut it, maybe since October, not for any reason really. Actually, no, there was a reason: he just never felt like it. But he's so glad he didn't cause it gives Stephen a lot to play with. “I wasn't planning on it,” he says, closing his eyes. Stephen’s hands are magic.

Jon didn't really have a bad day but it wasn't the best day. Stephen took a test second period so he didn't see him until economics. Study hall was very quiet which Jon would’ve love it if his brain hadn't jumped off the deep end. 

_ Oh my god what if he does drop out? _

_ Ugh my face hurts. _

_ Fuck, the pity dinner. _

Stephen sort of reeled him in the next period but it was mostly ineffective because they had to do a silent reading assignment which made it worse. So he didn't I really have a bad day but all day he was just so  _ distracted _ . But right now, and he doesn't know how the fuck he does it, Stephen has totally calmed and relaxed him.

“Good,” Stephen starts pulling a little, tilting his head back. “You look  _ really _ good like this.”

Jon opens his eyes and looks straight into Stephen's. He doesn't know if he's referencing his long unruly hair or the fact that he's under him with his neck flexed backwards with his mouth slightly agape in a suggestive manner but anyway, asks, “Really?”

“ _ Well _ , you look good all the time in anything,” Stephen shrugs “but like this is my favorite.”

Jon blushes a little. He thinks of what he's wearing-- his usual navy sweatshirt and his gym shorts (the short short kind) because he hadn’t changed after gym that day. Then, he thinks of how wonderful a mind Stephen must have to be able to look at  _ this _ and think  _ beautiful _ .

“You even look good with a bruise on your face.” Stephen adds, lightly rubbing the reddish purple spot on his cheekbone and it stings a little but he so relaxed right now that he can't even be bothered to think about how the bruise got there.

“You don't have to say that.”

“I'll say it until you believe me.” Stephen continues with his hair and Jon continues to lean into it like a cat. “Larry's an asshole.”

“Yeah; nobody believes me when I tell them.”

“He's not even an asshole for punching you. He's an asshole ‘cause he didn't even care about how you felt until he hurt you.”

Jon looks at him and sees irritation rising in his eyes. This kid is so fiercely caring. “Stephen it's okay.”

“No it's not okay; how could he make fun of you for  _ having emotions _ ? He makes fun of you because you like me. He makes fun of you for not being so well acquainted with a man who did the same things to you.” 

“Stephen it's okay.” he repeats, taking his hands and holding them because he's started to pull harder than he’d like him to.

“Jon, did I not just say it's not?”

“Okay,  _ it's not _ , but I don't wanna talk about it okay?” Jon glances around the room and meets Sarah's eyes across the room.

“You guys are cute.” She says bluntly and those other two kids talking in the corner (he doesn't know who they are…) don't even notice. Stephen and Jon turn to her. “Are you guys going out?”

“Going out where?” Stephen asks and he looks genuinely confused. Jon smiles and hits Stephen's knee. “She means dating, stupid.”

Stephen closes his eyes and laughs at his own stupidity. “Oh my god.”

“So are you?” she asks again, insisting on an answer.

Jon looks up at the boy he's holding hands with, the boy he hugs, the boy he's kissed, the boy he's slept with, the boy he's seen cry and laugh, the boy who tells him everything and he tells everything to and asks, “Are we?”

“No?”

“No?”

“Technically to be dating we’d have to go on dates.”

“Fair point.” Jon nods then turns to Sarah, “I'm being told that we’re not.”

Sarah looks at them for a second, clearly skeptical, then goes back to reading.

Stephen and Jon smile at each other. Ya know, this would really bother Jon if this was something else. If maybe he didn't know that Stephen loved him or if they weren't so comfortable together, maybe he would freak out at the lack of labels they're willing to take on. But this is probably the most stress free relationship he has and has ever had. Soon enough, Jon feels those gentle hands running through his hair again and after a little while, he starts dozing off. 

Maybe 10 minutes later, Mr. Norman comes back and calls their mini meeting to session, causing them all to congregate around Jon and Stephen. 

“Okay, Jon and Stephen, I read your plan: It’s great, I love it.” Mr. Norman begins, sounding a little rushed, maybe stressed. “In order to get this done, though, we have to start shooting.”

Jon nods. “Okay, cool. When?”

“Today if you can?”

“Okay.” Jon shrugs; he's so out of it right now. “How do we go about that again?”

“Sarah’s been in film club since freshman year. She can tell you guys everything. Okay?” They all nod so he walks swiftly over to his desk and gets his coat and keys. “My kid has some dance thing tonight so I have to go; you guys can do it.” He leaves them with a thumbs up and rushes out.

Everyone returns to their corners for their bags. The mystery kids (who Jon’s still kind of wondering about) ask if anyone needs a ride, everyone says no and they leave the room and tell Jon to follow them when he gets out there. Jon finally asks, “Wait, I'm sorry, who are they?” then, “Wait, where are we going?”

“Oh that's Dean and Emma. They're sound people.” Sarah mentions. “And we're going to a location for the establishing shots in the beginning.” 

Oh. 

“By the way, could I get a ride?”

Jon looks at Stephen then says, “Uh, yeah I guess.”

“Cool.” Sarah nods then exits the classroom. She tells them they have to go to the auditorium to get equipment-- the camera (which is way heavier than he thought), the tripod, the pop shields, and those furry covers for the mics.

Sarah carries most of the stuff because Stephen is skinny and Jon is small. Between them they could probably carry around 90 pounds tops so Stephen gets the furry thing and Jon carries the pop shield. There was also a big bag of extra stuff that Stephen tried to pick up but almost dropped.

“I'm sorry; I didn't know it would be so heavy.” Stephen apologizes while they're walking in the hall toward the exit. 

“It’s fine, hun.” Sarah brushes it off. “So, are you guys new? I've seen you guys like all of twice.”

“Yeah, I'm new.” Jon answers leaving the fact of Stephen’s familiarity unspoken. “Just moved here like...beginning of February?” 

“So you've been here a little under two months?” Jon nods. “You a sophomore or junior?”

Jon sees the smile creep up on Stephen's lips and he rolls his eyes. He can tell he's making a short joke In his head. “I'm actually a senior. Stephen's a junior.”

“Sorry; you just look like a hobbit.” Sarah apologizes and Stephen laughs. She's towering over Jon. She's probably taller than Jon without her boots but with them she looks huge. She's about as tall as Stephen (maybe a little taller).

“But I'm a senior too, so if you need a beard to take to the banquet, I'm your girl.” She smiles and gives him a wink.

They're reaching the door and Jon rushes ahead as but so he can hold it for them. It's not that he's a gentleman or anything, he just feels bad that they made her carry all the heavy shit. 

“Thank you,” she says while walking through.

Jon points his way to his car and they all pile in with the equipment in the trunk. The distant honk of Dean and Emma’s horn alerts Jon to follow them when they start pulling out of the school parking lot. It's much warmer than it was this morning. It's certainly not summer but 55 degrees feels like heaven to an area that’s been averaging around 20 and 30 degrees up until a few weeks ago.

They're on their way to...wherever they're going when Sarah asks, “So how did you like Jersey? Never been.”

Jon glances at her through the rearview. She's sitting in the back of the car with her legs outstretched across the seats with that same book in her lap. 

“Not great, not horrib--wait…how did you…”

“Your plates.” she answers, smile “Don't worry I'm not a stalker. I've no interest in being your guys’ hag.”

“Oh,” Jon says. “Yeah, Jersey was fine. There wasn't a lot going on where I was so...” he shrugs. What can he say about Lawrenceville? Really; what is there worth mentioning? He doesn't talk about it enough to actually know what to say about it. He’d lived there his whole life and can't think of a single positive thing to say about it. Wow.

 

The rest of the car ride was pretty quiet; there was only sounds of the wind from Stephen's half opened window. Sarah presumably went back to reading her book and Jon and Stephen sat there in peace. When Sarah wasn't looking, Stephen reaches over and grabs Jon's hand and holds it. They don't say anything. They just sit there, content, while Jon drives along the muddy roads. Then Stephen says, softly, so softly that Sarah doesn't even lift her head, “I don't wanna miss any of this.” And they don't even look at each other when he says it but he knows what it means. 

He can't drop out for the same reason Jon can't deal with him dropping out. And it's not for sure yet. Stephen's not stupid; he'll keep thinking things through and he'll come to the right decision but right now, what's keeping him in school is Jon.

And Jon feels really fucking loved because of it.

“You won't miss anything. I know you won't.” He says back just as tenderly and he sees the brunet smile in his peripheral vision.

“Also, one more thing,”

“What?” Jon squeezes his hand a little.

Stephen leans in close to whisper in his ear, “Your thighs look amazing in those shorts.” Then he leans back in his chair with a cheeky little smile like everything he does to Jon  _ isn't _ inadvertently sexual.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> K guys. Please answer honestly: In this story, would Jon and Stephen have sex? Like, realistically, does it make sense in the story?  
> Couple things to consider: Stephen's a virgin, Jon's not. The way I imagine it, Stephen initiates b/c his personality is much more forward. Idk. What do y'all think. B/c I could take this a couple of places BUT ALSO IVE NEBER WRITTEN SMUT AND IM TOO PURE BUT I MIGHT. Idk. Leave a comment *sun glasses emoji and finger guns*


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hEY GUYS GUESS WHO'S LATE AF YUP THAT'S RIGHT ME AGAIN  
> I sorta took an art break and a music break, I guess (ahem follow me @glassdick on ig to see what I'm doing when im neglecting my responsibilities ayyye B)  
> oh also warnings: its getting sexual...i mean not in this chapter specifically but...next chapter...things happen  
> ok thats it im a mess im leaving *hops into a trashcan*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if there are mistakes it's because i only read it over once :U

So all week they've been filming simple establishing shots while they held impromptu auditions for the acting (can you really call it that?) roles but everyone who auditioned was a “piece of shit.” Sarah’s words.

Jon's taken to the role of the director quite naturally and Stephen seems to love being in front of the camera. Besides Stephen though, they have no one to play all the concerned moms who defend Spelding.

“We should just get your aunt to play all the adults.” Stephen jokes. Jon laughs too then... _hey that could actually work_.

  


“Okay, so who am I?” Jo asks, straightening out the collar on her yellow floral print blouse, as she's coming out of her room.

Jon looks at her. Wow. She doesn't even look like his aunt anymore. Her long wavy gray hair is done up in a fancy braid-bun-thingy and nothing is flowing; everything is clean and tailored. Wait…

“Ms. Leibowitz, you _have_ to put on a bra; we can see your nipples.” Sarah says from across the living room.

Jo rolls her eyes. “Jon, tell your girlfriend to stop dictating my life.”

“She's not his girlfriend,” Stephen says quickly then tried to act like he didn't say it which makes Jo smile and look at Jon.

“It's not your life. It's an anal PTA mom’s life and PTA moms wear bras.” Sarah corrects.

“Alright I'll put on a goddamn bra.” She says, rolling her eyes and exiting the room.

Jon snickers when he heard the door close. “I don't think she likes you.”

“Why won't the woman wear a bra?”  Sarah asks. “It'll be for like-- what? An hour? I mean she has great tits. I'd kill to be over 50 and still have those tits but--”

“Eww.” Jon and Stephen complain in unison.

“Oh stop being so gay.” Sarah rolls her eyes.

 

Jo ended up playing 4 characters that day: the PTA mom (uptight mom whose kid ends up ODing because of how controlling she is), Mrs. Spelding (who doesn't give a fuck about the problem and defends her husband), the school board director (in general, asshole) and a main office secretary (who's afraid of losing her job).

When she was the PTA mom she would say things like “Honestly, I just want my babies to be safe.” and “Honestly, those harlots should've been arrested if they’re going to come to school dressed like prostitutes.”

The Secretary would be like “I shouldn't even be here right now” and jump at any sudden noises.

They literally piled all the jewelry Jo has (which isn't much because she said she's purged herself of material obsession) for Mrs. Spelding. They had two ideas in mind about what she might be like: she’d be a gold digger or a sad old woman who’s afraid to be alone. Obviously, they chose the gold digger because they figure the sad woman saw something in him once and they just can't imagine anyone seeing anything worth marrying at any point in his life.

Mrs. Spelding says things like, “No, he's a great person but to tell the truth, his dad's an even better person for leaving him all that money! Ha!” Then she’d cackle obnoxiously.

Jo is actually in the middle of saying some complesult (insult laced in a complement-- we learn new words every day) in a _thick_ Jersey accent when the tea kettle starts whistling.

The irritation on Sarah’s face is so visible and Stephen almost laughs. Sarah, standing behind the camera, closes her eyes and breathes out slowly.

“When did you even put that water on?” she asks, straining her voice to stay calm.

“I thought we could take a break.” Jo shrugs and gets up to go to the kitchen. “You need a break, sweetie.”

Stephen's laughing at this point. Stephen, Jon and Jo: they're all such type B people and Sarah offsets that significantly.

“Stephen, you want any?” Jo asks merrily, completely ignoring Sarah’s discernible frustration. She gets all of her loose-teas from the jar by the stove and a couple of mugs for Jon, Stephen and her,

Stephen looks at Jon and asks, “What do you like?” as they maneuver their way around the various pieces of equipment to the kitchen. “I like the black tea.” Jon replies. “But you’d hate it. Tastes weird with sugar.”

Stephen’s a child when it comes to sweets: he can rarely ever turn down anything sugary and at the same time, almost refuses things that don’t have enough sugar. On the contrary, sugar gives Jon headaches. Stephen smells all the different teas while Jo methodically measures out her and Jon’s. “Where do you get all these?”

“A little alternative medicine shop; you see it on the way to the ferry.”

Stephen sticks different parchment bags up to his little nose and gives them all a sniff. “Oh my gosh, this one smells like cake.” he says, the cutest smile rising on his face.

“It’s orange zest with cinnamon; you want it?”

Stephen nods, smiling,

He’s so fucking adorable.

Jo finishes up all three of their cups then turns to Sarah, who’s still standing in the living room, arms crossed, looking impatient. “Honey, do you want any? Sipping tea and shit talking tends to ease nerves in my past experience.”

Sarah cracks a smile then groans a little. “I guess; I just want to get this done. We have--what? A month and a half? And we still have to edit.”

“Well, I do happen to have a vanilla blend tea that’s supposed to be wonderful for stress.” Jo smiles, inviting her to sit at the table with Jon and Stephen.

Sarah sighs and conceded. “Alright gimme the vanilla one.”

Jo happily makes her a cup and they all sit around the dining table.

“So how's school, kids?” Jo begins, looking around the table.

“I haven't skipped in weeks.” Stephen says first.

Then Jon says, “Which is a good thing.”

“If you like suffering, I guess.” Stephen responds, a little overdramatically and a lot passive aggressively.

“Why don't you skip? Everyone skips.” Sarah takes a sip of her tea.

“If I do, I'll probably get suspended again or expelled which is bullsshh--ugh, I'm sorry.”

“Babe, no one here is gonna tell on you.” Jon encourages with a chuckle. He doesn't understand: Stephen will silently repent when a curse word slips but breaks every rule he can and undresses Jon with his eyes and sees no sin in that. He's not saying he should just give in and be horrible like the rest of them but some consistency would be nice.

“ _Babe_?” Sarah asks with an eyebrow raised. “You said you weren't gay, right?

_Oh my god, did he really say that?_

_Huh. That’s a new one._

“Shut up; I'm not.” Jon pouts. He knows there's no use defending himself at this point but he still does.

“You just like to kiss boys.” Sarah corrects herself and nods.

 _Sigh_. He can't even object to that because that's the exact situation.

“What about you, sweetie?” Jo asks, softly, while idly stirring her spoon around. “Do you have a boyfriend? Girlfriend?”

“No.” Sarah answers bluntly. “What about you?”

Jo looks up pensively, still turning her spoon. “I had maybe one or two boyfriends; alotta girlfriends though.” She smiles at the memories.

“What?” Stephen seems so surprised. “Is that why you’re not married?”

“No; _that’s_ because divorce is more expensive than a wedding and I would make a shitty wife.” She picks up her mug. “I should know. I made a lot of money off of unhappy rich couples.”

“You were a lawyer?” Sarah tilts her head in question then shifts her eyes to look around the room. Everything is light, relaxing, peaceful. There’s pictures on the walls of everything Jo thought to be beautiful enough to be preserved forever. There’s knick knacks everywhere on shelves along with her books, not a lot of pictures of their family though. Anyone could walk into the small house and know the owner isn’t very materialistic at all. The most advanced piece of technology there is her TV that she got at least 5 years ago. She doesn’t even have a microwave. So Sarah’s confusion makes sense.

“Mmmhmm; the worst kind.” Jo nods. “I was the kind of lawyer people make shitty jokes about.”

“Like...what do you mean?” Sarah asks.

“I got paid a lot of money by wealthy people to help them take advantage of the vulnerable.” Jo tries to clarify. “I actually retired so early, first of all because I had the money but it was really because I couldn't do it anymore.”

“You're already retired?”

“Yup. I was 50.” Jo says into her cup right before she takes another drink.

“Shit; I wanna do that.” Sarah says with a half smile.

“If you keep doing all this,” Jo gestures to the camera, “or anything you love, you won’t want to retire early--or at all.”

 

They get a lot of footage that day, some great, some not so great, and Sarah goes home around 6 o’clock-ish. Stephen is still there a couple of hours later (he always stays until his mom calls the house) and they retreat to Jon's room.

Stephen is sitting on Jon's bed, criss-cross-applesauce, playing with Jon’s unsolved rubik’s cube and Jon is laying on his back, perpendicular to him, staring at his hands twist the colorful squares around.

“I'm so tired.” he says unmovingly. He’s never worked so hard for anything. When he’s not thinking about Stephen, he’s thinking about their movie (if you’re wondering where school factors into this equation, it doesn’t).

Stephen looks at the alarm clock on Jon's night stand: 9:37.

“I'll sleep with you,” He says with a cheeky smile.

And Jon would totally roll his eyes if that didn't sound wonderful. “Yes please.”

“What if my mom came and she saw us cuddled up in bed.” Stephen says passingly.

“Does she know you like me?”

“She doesn’t know I jerk off to you.”

Jon was nodding off, but fuck that, he's fully awake and aware now. “Stephen! Oh my god!” Jon props himself up on an elbow and looks at him with his head cocked to the side. “Wait, are you serious?”

Stephen shrugs, “Yeah-- it's weird right?”

“Why is it weird?”

“Cause you're a boy-- but that doesn't bother me-- that's the weird part.”  Stephen turns the cube and manages to get all the white squares to match up. “Hey, I got one side.”

“Are you not embarrassed to say anything?” Jon looks at the cube: he could only do that if he peeled off the stickers.

“Well I would never tell you that in front of my mom,” Stephen shrugs as his hands begin twisting the cube again, ruining the color block of white. “But I could tell you anything.”

Jon smiles a little. He never thought he would be _that person_ for anyone.

The atmosphere of the room is so relaxed and maybe it’s because Jon is halfway unconscious but he feels at peace. Jon reassumes his position lying flat on the bed and Stephen leans back against the headboard, the cube still in his hand. Before he knows it, he’s asleep, cuddled up in Stephen's lap and the last thing he remembers was Stephen muttering under a heavy sigh, “I have church in the morning.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "...unwrapping my dick."  
> that's all i can say

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys. i'm finally on time for something. *basks in your applause* thank u thank u.  
> okay well brace yourselves, guys. this chapter reaches maximum levels of gayness.  
> warnings: breath play (i guess¿) it got the tiniest bit D/s and i apologize,  
> this ones for you, duck overlord *finger guns* oh, also sm4sh and panda_locked. you guys make my life. ok. i'm done.

They have a chorus concert tonight. It's the annual showcase of the chorus, orchestra and band that lasts upwards of 2 hours and usually goes pretty well. It’s not a big deal, they just don’t feel like going. They’ve been working hard for weeks on this film. They basically did all of Jo’s parts the Saturday before last. The establishing footage was pretty easy--they just consisted of some nice looking nature and zoomed out shots of people walking being pleasant and such-- and they did all of those first. Then, last week, they shot all of Stephen's stuff. He's sort of the muse of the whole project (artistically and literally). This week, they set up interviews with teachers, Mr. Norman is one, Mr. Veda, Stephen's chem teacher agreed to do it, and a bunch of other people who not-so-secretly hate their boss. Then next week, they have student interviews.

They didn't do anything today, though; Jon drove them both over to his house because they were gonna watch some of what they shot and decide what to reshoot but they put the tape in the VCR and Jon fell right asleep on the floor. He’s never slept very well-- he's a very light sleeper if he actually falls asleep-- so maybe it isn't saying much that he's not sleeping well now. It's not only their movie that's stressing him out, it's his family. It's not Jo (he doesn't think she is physically able to stress anyone out), it's that his dad has been calling the house just about every other day since Larry came, punched him, and never came back. He doesn’t talk about it because he doesn't think Jo knows he knows. Whenever his dad calls and he's in the living room, Jo will hang up and tell him to call back later because she knows it makes Jon uneasy just hearing one side of a conversation with him. So she tries to call him back when Jon's asleep but, again, Jon doesn't sleep so he hears everything. He knows that his dad wants to see him and Jo doesn't want him to. He knows Larry’s really sorry but has been “busy” so he couldn't come by to say it himself. (Also what the hell is up with his dad and Larry relaying messages for each other?). He can't say he's not stressed about their little family gathering happening in about a month. 

Stephen woke him up when it was time to get ready for the concert. The uniform is simple: black dress shirt, black dress pants and a maroon bowtie to add a little school spirit to the ensemble. They actually got ready in Jon’s room with the door closed, facing each other. And that’s not even a big deal. They have gym together so they’ve seen each other half naked before but they’ve never been alone and intentionally looking at each other. They could’ve done anything. They  _ didn’t _ but Stephen was definitely looking at him like he might've.

Bedroom eyes aside, they were ready pretty quickly and out of the house by 5:35. They make sure Jo knows the concert is at 7:00 and they're out the door.

It's been so beautiful this week. The temperature has been hovering around 65 degrees and flowers have been blooming. It actually feels like the whole town is in bloom. People are coming out of their houses, riding bikes, walking around without heavy coats: it's awesome. But even with all this beautiful weather and spirit, they have to sit inside all day learning about shit they'll probably forget tomorrow. And now, they have to go back to school to sing to people who’ll probably forget the song titles tomorrow.

When they get to school, they don't see a lot of people they know...not that they know a lot of people but it makes them keep to themselves before their last rehearsal starts.

Stephen was switched to first tenor for this concert along with a few other boys to add some volume to the lacking harmony part, so Jon doesn't get to stand next to him and he's a little upset about it. To make it worse, Stephen's on the top row because he's the size of a normal human teenager and Jon's the size of a hobbit so he's on the bottom.

Before the concert, before the rehearsal, when they’re sitting on the floor in the corner of the library (which served as the makeshift rehearsal space since their audience was already filing into the auditorium), under some familiar dusty books about shit that, still, nobody cares about, Stephen made a suggestion that Jon thought about all the way through the concert. He thought about it more than the notes and rhythms and words of the music he was singing.

“Jon,” Stephen had said. “We should just run away.”

And he said some stuff after that made him realise it was mostly just a daydream not an actual proposal (like “Let’s start a colony for underachieving creatives so we can be among our kind.” with a quiet laugh) but all Jon could think was “Why shouldn’t we?”

So when the audience is done clapping and all the performers are stepping off the stage, Jon grabs Stephen’s arm and says, through all the commotion of the crowd, “Let’s go to the beach.”

What he absolutely loves about Stephen is that the kid doesn’t even question the notion. He just smiles that ridiculously wonderful smile of his and says, “Yeah, let’s do it.” then, “We gotta ask my mom, though.” 

Jon smiles back at him as Stephen grabs his hand so they don’t lose each other.

“Honey,” the lightness of Mrs. Colbert’s voice gets their attention. Stephen turns his head and walks over to her; Jon follows. She's standing with Jo; they must’ve found each other fairly quickly or sat together because the concert just ended.

“You guys were great.” she says as she embraces her son. “Never seen anything better.”

“Yeah, what she said.” Jo smiles and gives Jon a little side hug. Jo looks so tired. Her hair is up in a semi-presentable bun and she's wearing a white t-shirt and old jeans with a grey cardigan. So she looks fine but her eyes are half lidded and she yawned when she hugged Jon. She's probably been running errands all day.

When the exits start to clear up a little, all four of them exit the auditorium into the warm night air. Stephen is talking to his mom about something so Jo and Jon form their own cluster not too far (but not too close) from them.

Jo shoves her hands in her grey cardigan pockets, looks around then at Jon and says “So, you ready to go?” 

Jon glances at Stephen. “Uhh...actually me and Stephen were gonna go grab something to eat then I guess come back home if that's alright?”

“Of course it is. Why would I have a problem with that?”

Jon looks at her with his “lying eyes”. He's been told he's a shitty at lying or, rather, concealing the truth.

“Oh my god, Jon, where are you going?” Jo rolls her eyes. “Is it a bar? I don't want you coming home drunk; it's fucking Wednesday.”

“No, we're just...don't worry, okay?” Jon doesn't know how to explain their spontaneous decision to run away for a night. “I won't come home drunk or high or injured.”

“Are you trying to fuck him?” she says with an eyebrow cocked.

“Jo!” Jon looks around; his aunt is so blunt and it's mostly good but sometimes, like this time, it's not good. 

“Because if you are--”

“I'm not!” Jon insists. He does not want to talk about this amongst this horde of chorus kids and their overbearing parents.

“ _ If you are,”  _ she continues as if he hadn't said anything. _ “ _ no public bathrooms, no back alleys, no motels that you can rent by the hour-- and please use a condom for Christ’s sake.”

“Jo, I'm not trying to have sex with him.” Jon says,  slowly and calmly so Jo might believe him. He doesn't know what these “lying eyes” look like but he hopes they're not present.

“Really?” she looks genuinely confused. “Then what are you doing on a fucking Wednesday?” she pauses and something like defeat washes over her face. “Ya know what? Whatever. You two have fun. I'll leave the door open.”

Then she hugs her nephew goodbye, leaving him with a kiss on the cheek and a languid wave.

Stephen walks over to him and grabs his hand as his mom waves both of them goodbye. Jon catches her glance down at their hands and hesitate to smile. Then Jon realises they're just blatantly holding hands in front of “the most Catholic woman I know” (Stephen's words). Jon turns to Stephen, “What did you tell her?”

“That we’re gonna get something to eat and you’d take me to school, tomorrow.” Stephen says stepping forward, pulling Jon's hand along with him. “C'mon let's go.”

Jon smiles as Stephen drags him all the way to his car.

 

They drive down to the beach. And it isn't like a sunny Florida beach, it's kinda rocky and beyond the coarse sand is a dusty parking lot. Beyond that is a road and beyond that is a dense patch of native trees. There are box elders instead of palms and the grassy thrush that usually grows on the banks is still dormant. 

There isn't anyone there, of course. It's after 9 pm on a Wednesday in the middle of April. It's not particularly warm either-- it's maybe 55 degrees but it isn't very breezy at all. Everything is just very still.

Jon puts the car in park and they both kick off their shoes and pull off their socks then run out to hop over the thin rope closing off the makeshift entrance that leads down on to the dunes.

Before they do, they get a blanket that Jon has in his trunk (that he doesn't remember putting there?) and wrap it around both if their shoulders.

 

“Is this a date?”  Stephen asks as they’re walking by the shore. It’s darker than Jon realizes; he can hardly see Stephen’s face except for what the moonlight and a few distant street lights from the road are lighting up.

“If you consider spontaneously running away from responsibilities a worthwhile date activity.” Jon laughs.

“Actually I do,” Stephen smiles and nudges closer to Jon, bringing the blanket tighter around them. Jon stumbles a little bit.

“Ah, don’t get the blanket wet!” He says, a little startled by how cold the water is-- but really what did he expect? “Let’s go lay down up there.” he says pointing at the bank right below the dunes, what they could see of it. Despite What a romantic novel might tell you, the moonlight has a very limited reach.

“What, you don’t like the water, Jon?” Stephen then kicks up a little water splashing Jon’s ankles.

“No, stop!” He hobbles up the beach, feet sinking into the cool sand, and Stephen laughs.

“I’m sorry, Jon come back.” Stephen pleads through his giggles while walking awkwardly up the sand himself. “C'mon I'm cold.” 

Jon wraps himself tighter in the blanket he just stole. “I know; you can come up here and we can both be warm.”

Then Jon sees Stephen's silhouette trudging up the sand and as he gets closer he can see the little pout on his face.

“I don't trust you near water,” Jon says opening his arm out, inviting Stephen into the blankety warmth.

They eventually make their way to a spot up near the dunes and lay down on the blanket. Stephen is cuddled up so close to him, laying on his shoulder with an arm wrapped right above his waist and tangling his right foot with Jon's left.

“So if this is a date, does that mean we're dating?” Stephen asks, while dragging his finger in circles on Jon's chest.

“I don't know, do you wanna be dating?” Jon shrugs. He doesn't know why but the labels make him uncomfortable-- like actually saying it out loud.

“I kinda wanna be boyfriends.” Stephen replies quietly. Jon turns his head to the side and makes a face. “Wait do you not like that?”

“No,” Jon shrugs again, “I just-- what makes you a boyfriend? I don't even know what that really means.”

“Well, you're the one who’s had a boyfriend.” Stephen mentions still drawing little patterns on him.

“Yeah, but he doesn't count.”

Stephen props himself up on an elbow and smiles. “What makes him not count?”

“I called him my boyfriend and it wasn't what I thought it was-- I don't know.” He throws his hands up in confusion.

“It wasn't what you thought-- what did he have a secret criminal life on the side?”

“No he was just an asshole and I didn't realise it for 2 years so…” Jon rolls his eyes but Stephen doesn't see that.

“What do you mean?” 

“Stephen,” Jon sighs. “I don’t want this to turn into a therapy session.”

“I'll listen.” Stephen says simply, looking him in the eyes.

Jon sighs again. He's not the kind of guy who usually expresses himself in ways other than passive aggression and sarcasm but sometimes he thinks he ought to be. “Well, I met Dan on the debate team in 9th grade,” Jon begins, “and-- I actually joined the debate team that year ‘cause I had the hugest crush on this sophomore, Michelle, when I was in 8th grade-- I went to all of her matches, I bought flowers for her every time--” Jon laughs. “I don't know where the fuck I thought that would get me because I was literally 5 feet tall-- but anyway, she told me, after the regional competition, “You should join next year,” so that's what i did and that's where I met Dan.”

“Aww, you liked a girl?” Stephen laughs a little.

“Oh my god, how many times have I said I'm not gay.” Jon groans.

“No I'm sorry, I know.” Stephen giggles, laying his head on Jon's chest and looking up at him. “I wanna hear more.”

“You're a dick sometimes, you know that?” Stephen nods, not even trying to deny it, then Jon continues. “Well we were on debate, we quit that after freshman year and joined the soccer team, and we became best friends really fast.”

“Faster than us?”

“No; I've never liked someone so much so fast as I like you.” Jon runs a hand through his hair, chuckles and if he's blushing, it's not visible. “But, yeah; he was just fun to be around-- and I think he knew I liked him before I did because he’d always touch me, kinda like you but a little more shameless, I guess. He was a year older than me because he got held back so I guess he just knew more...I guess?”

“Really?” the other boy says, tracing lightly around his nipples now and he's probably smirking.

“Yes,” Jon smiles. “Even though you're a close second.”

“I don't understand how I can be second to anyone, really.” Stephen says with that faux-offended voice he has.

“Well, you never touch my ass, or come up behind me-- not to mention I kinda lost my virginity to him so--”

“Wait what?” Stephen stops idly fondling his chest and stares at him with eyes wide. “You're not a virgin?”

Jon turns his head towards Stephen, “Well no, I guess not?”

“You were in  _ ninth grade _ ?” Stephen whispers like there's somebody around. And he's sitting up now.

“No!” Jon shakes his head. “It was like, beginning of junior year, I was like 16.”

“What did you guys do?”

Jon sighs. Stephen is so goddamn curious...but it's charming. It’s nice to have someone in his life that genuinely wants to know everything about him. “I mean basically just blow jobs and handies.” Jon shrugs. It doesn't seem like a big deal. 

He’s always been open to sex. He's never wanted to “save himself” or anything. “Sometimes fingering.”

“Like he put his fingers in your asshole?”

“Yeah,” Jon says timidly.

“And you like it?”

He mutters, “Yeah,” again, even more timidly.

Then Stephen doesn't say anything for a minute (maybe 2 minutes?) and a bunch of bad thoughts start rushing through his head. He's instantly starting to regret everything he said. This is what he was afraid of: oversharing. This is why he never tells anyone anything because they hold all the power to judge him. He never should've--

Then Stephen is kissing him. He forgot what this felt like. Despite Stephen being a dirty little sinner, they haven't really kissed since the first time in the library. 

Stephen runs his hand through Jon's hair, “Oh my god, Jon, that is so hot.”

Jon looks at him and Stephen's half on top of him now.

“Thank you?” Jon says a bit breathlessly. What do you say in this situation? 

Stephen laughs, “Thank you?” and looks at him with that, even in the darkness, infinitely bright smile.

“I’m sorry,” Jon turns his head so he doesn’t have to look Stephen in the eyes and Stephen gives him a little peck right below his ear. Why is his heart beating so fast?

“I wanna do something.” Stephen whispers, undoing Jon's bowtie and popping the first few buttons on the black shirt while he rolls Jon off his side onto his back, swinging his leg over Jon's waist, straddling him now. Then, he feels Stephen’s wet lips trace a path down his neck all the way to his collarbone and the gentle wind blows over the wet spots left on his skin causing Jon to shiver.

He runs a hand through Stephen's wavy hair which makes the other boy look up. “Fuck yeah, anything.”

 

Then Stephen leans down to kiss him. “Can I take your shirt off?”

“It's cold, though.”

“Can I just unbutton it then?” Stephen kisses him again, deeper this time, peeking a little tongue into his mouth and it comes as such a surprise that he moans into it. 

“Please?” Stephen whispers on to Jon's lips.

“Okay.” Jon breathes.

“You sure?” Stephen asks with his hands already on the first remaining button.

“It's pitch dark, you can't even see me.” Jon reasons. 

“I know, I just wanna feel you.” the other boy says beginning to slide the buttons through their holes, all the down his torso. Warm fingers run down his now bare body and find themselves in every crevice of his semi-muscular torso (not that muscular, calm down). Stephen's soft touch lingers at his belt buckle for a while and Jon's already heavy breath speeds up. Jon props himself on his elbows so he can get a better view of him-- of the silhouette he can see anyways.

“Can I?” 

Jon nods because for some reason he can't speak. He can only stare.

He hears the leather of his belt start sliding through the loops over the subtle crash of the waves behind them and he lifts his hips into Stephen's.

Jon moans. “Fuck,”

Stephen laughs, “You curse so much, oh my god,” as his hands unbutton and unzip Jon's pants.

“Oh yeah, says the guy literally unwrapping my dick.” Jon rolls his eyes with a smile. Stephen Colbert: Innocence Extraordinaire (except he's actually a little fucking sinner but nobody really knows it but Jon).

His belt gets flung somewhere off to the side. Which he should probably worry about; it  _ is _ dark as fuck and it's a black belt but Stephen is unzipping his pants right now and he can always buy a new belt. He sees Stephen's head look down for a little bit then he leans forward and smashes his lips against Jon’s, his tongue slipping in between his lips. Jon moans again when the other boy’s pelvis brushes up lightly against his.

“Please touch me,” Jon groans into the kiss as Stephen's hands run through his thick hair. His pants are unzipped, his shirt’s unbuttoned, and he's tenting his underwear. He doesn't want to rush Stephen but, shit, he needs... _ something _ .

Stephen tugs Jon's head back, breaking the kiss, and Jon can faintly see a smile rise across Stephen's face.

“You want me to blow you?” Stephen asks confidently, with a sultry little lilt to his voice. 

“Please please please,” Jon begs breathlessly.

Of course this skinny 16 year old boy who likes to read and skips class for a hobby can bring him to submission within 10 seconds.

“Mmm.” Stephen hums as he finally shoves a hand in his underwear and grips Jon's erection, and gives it a few strokes. Jon closes his eyes and lifts his hips instinctively into the pressure of Stephen's hand. Then, the pressure is gone as Stephen tugs his pants halfway down his thigh, causing his semi hard cock to spring free.

Stephen slowly licks his hand, making sure it's as wet as possible and brings it down to stroke Jon again, this time a little faster.

A high pitched whine slips from between Jon's lips.

“You're so hot, fuck.” Stephen whispers bringing up his other hand to run it through Jon's hair. “Hey, look at me.” 

Jon opens his eyes, they have to adjust to the darkness but in a few seconds he sees his Stephen's wonderful eyes.

“What?” he says, a bit lightheaded with lust.

“Will you blow me after?”

Jon nods because he forgot how to use his words.

“Good,” Stephen says with a smirk. He gives Jon's hair a final pet, dragging his warm fingers down his body as he scoots back a few inches on the blanket. Stephen gives Jon a few steady pulls then bows down to wrap his lips around his throbbing cock, swirling his tongue around it like a dripping popsicle in the summer time.

“Ah,” Jon lets out a broken whimper watching Stephen's head bob up and down on his dick. The wet, sloppy sounds coming from his mouth pierce his ears over the quiet crash of the waves, accompanying the thick spit dripping down the shaft.

“Fuck,” Jon moans when Stephen speeds up, thrusting his hips wanting to get deeper into his hot, wet mouth causing him to get a gag from Stephen. Stephen pulls off and coughs a few times and Jon is pulled out of the foggy trance Stephen's mouth seems to put him in.

“Shit,” Jon swears, “I'm sorry; are you okay?”

Stephen looks up, and, fuck, his lips are glistening with saliva and whatever’s already come out of his cock. 

“I love it,” he says, voice scratchy and gruff. “You taste so good, Jon. I want you to come in my mouth.”

Jon looks down at the smirking boy looking up at him:  you could never tell he had never even  _ kissed _ anyone before this but now he has Jon half naked sitting on the sand before it's warm enough to reasonably be out here.

“Fuck, Stephen,” Jon moans, combing his fingers through Stephen's hair encouraging him to keep going and Stephen gladly obliges. Pretty soon, he felt those spit-slicked lips surrounding his cock again and every time Stephen slid his tongue up and down the shaft he felt closer and closer to orgasm.

Stephen (pulled off) again but kept a swift hand sliding up and down.

“C'mon, babe, I know you can come for me.” he whispers. And Jon coulda sworn he said “I want it” before he dipped back down to suck on the head for maybe 30 seconds before Jon was done, coming fast into Stephen's mouth.

Stephen looks up with a string of jizz hanging off his lip then stands up on his knees and scoots up to kiss him. Stephen's tongue is exploring  every crevice of Jon's mouth making sure Jon gets a thorough taste.

Jon breaks the kiss with his tongue hanging out and groans, “Oh my god that tastes like shit,” and Stephen laughs, resting his head on Jon's shoulder.

“I think it's delicious.”

“Don’t you fucking lie to me.” Jon smiles, shaking his head.

Stephen lifts his head and looks at him, “Mmm, I know what can get the taste out of your mouth.”

Oh yeah, Stephen hasn't come yet, Jon's reminded by the unmistakable hardness that rubs against his stomach for a moment. He reached a hand to cup Stephen's crotch and massages it slowly.

“Oh yeah?” 

“Yeah,” Stephen sighs and shoves into Jon's hand then lightly pushes on Jon's chest, “Lay down.”

Jon follows the order, laying backwards onto the blanket, and Stephen scoots up so that he's hovering over his chest, with a knee on each side. 

“Please tell me if you can't breathe,” Stephen says caringly. “Like-- slap my thigh or something.”

“Okay,” Jon murmurs as Stephen starts unbuttoning his own pants, slipping out his dick through the opening he creates, over the waistband of his underwear. Stephen’s cock is a little longer than Jon's. He gives it a few slow tugs.

“I'm gonna fuck your mouth, okay?” Stephen caresses his chin, coaxing his mouth open. Jon's eyes are wide and wanting.

He's never been in this position before, that is, completely physically and emotionally vulnerable to another person but he doesn't even bat an eye at that. He trusts Stephen totally and perfectly.

Stephen slowly feeds his cock into Jon's waiting mouth and Jon closes his lips around it, keeping his jaw just slack enough for Stephen to thrust in and out.

Stephen is mostly silent, Jon's loud as fuck, though, between all of his moaning, gagging and slurping. Stephen yanks his head up by his curls and starts pushing in faster then whines, “Jon, can I come in your mouth?”

Jon gives a weak thumbs up and that makes Stephen smile.

Jon just lays back in satisfaction, letting Stephen use his body until ropes of Stephen's come are coating his tongue and dribbling down both sides of his mouth.

“Oh my god,” Stephen sighs and Jon shares the sentiment. He climbs off of Jon’s chest to lay next to him again. The rate at which he transitions from sex god to cuddly sweetheart is astonishing.

It's a very tender moment, ruined by Jon’s sudden snorts and giggles. He just can't help but laugh at the fact that they're both lying here with their limp dicks hanging out of their pants.

“What are you laughing at?” Stephen smiles. And he can tell he's tired. He usually gets quiet and snuggly when he's about to fall asleep.

“I'm sorry but why the fuck did we do this?” Jon laughs. You can tell he's tired now too. He usually gets silly and delusional before he succumbs to his need for sleep and he resists that for as long as possible. “And how are you so adorable even when you're gagging me with your dick? I don't understand.”

Jon feels Stephen's face heat up. 

“Did you like it?” Stephen asks so shyly.

Jon notices the subtle insecurity in his voice. “No I loved it.” Then he adds, “I love  _ you _ .”

“I love you so much.” Stephen yawns and nudges closer to him.

“Wait, Stephen, we can't sleep here.” Jon says rubbing his shoulder. “It's Wednesday.”

  
They got back to the house at maybe 1 AM and Jon had to guide a half conscious Stephen into his room who fell back asleep as soon as he hit the bed. Something new for Jon, though: he fell asleep too. 


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys im on time again :D *claps for myself* good job xenia A+ 10/10

Jon wakes up way too early for comfort. The sun isn't even up yet when he waddles out of bed into the kitchen to rummage for some food. He's still in his black pants from yesterday with the sandy ankles rolled up and he smells faintly of seawater. He's still wearing his black shirt too; it's still unbuttoned. The look of his clothes on his body reminds him of how they got that way and he smiles to himself.

He's startled to see Jo on the couch already at-- he looks at the clock on the wall-- 5:37 AM but then again, he's up too so what can be say.

“Hey, Jo.” he greets with a low, scratchy voice as he plops down next to her.

She's sitting criss-cross-applesauce with a mug of tea in her hand with her eyes closed. It’s still dark. The house is only lit by the dark periwinkle sky and whatever artificial light is out there.

“Hi sweetie.” She says, taking a sip of her tea. “How was your night?”

“Eventful.” Jon smiles to himself.

“You were safe?”

“I don't think I have a dangerous bone in my body.” Jon sort of laughed at the notion that he, of all people, would find his way into trouble.

“Stephen does, though.”

“What do you mean?” Jon turns his head to her. She sighs.

“Your dad called yesterday and he said he wanted to come over to talk to you. I said he went out with his boyfriend-- and I've never said that before. I was just so tired, I said, “Don, I don't wanna talk right now,” Jo put her mug down. “And he got so mad when I said it--” she sighs. “It just reminded me of how many people out there would have the same bitchy response to you guys...being...together despite you being two of the most precious people I've ever had the pleasure to know.”

Jon doesn't know what to say.

“Anyway, I went to bed stressed so-- I just needed to get up, meditate, just cleanse my mind, really.”

“We weren't where anybody would see us.” Jon reassures.

“I know. You're not stupid; I trust you.” Jo finally opens her eyes to look at her nephew. “Did you use a condom?”

“What?”

“I'm not stupid either, Jon.” She smiles.

“He didn't fuck me-- I mean-- there were no assholes involved so, no.” Jon pauses. “I mean except for me,”

Jo playfully hits him. “Shut up, you're not an asshole.”

“I am my father's son.” Jon reckons.

“Don't say that.” Jo shakes her head.

“Sorry.”

“It's fine.” Jo says. “So, are you going to school today or should I call you in sick?”

“I have an interview today for our…” he tries to think of the word. He’s so fucking tired, oh my god. “...film.”

“During school?”

“After.”

“Well you could still skip.”

“Stephen can't.”

Jo smiles. “Right.”

 

An hour and a half later, Jon goes to wake Stephen up. Unlike himself, Stephen is a really heavy sleeper. He wouldn't be surprised if he was the only one who survived the apocalypse purely by sleeping through it. He didn't want to wake him up but unfortunately, their principle is crazy and definitely has it out for Stephen.  
Stephen hasn't skipped a day in almost 4 weeks. Well he's skipped Chem a few times but for the most part he's been present and (not so) ready to learn. The thing is, just because Stephen’s showing up, doesn't mean he's going to change how he acts. He's still gonna argue if he doesn't agree and he's still gonna hold Jon's hand in the hallway. The problem with that is that, Dr. Mid-life-crisis hates Stephen and that dick can basically do whatever he wants.

He admits that he may have been exaggerating the extent that Spelding hated them but he is absolutely sure now that he's trying everything in his power to prevent Stephen from graduating on time.  
Stephen told him that his guidance counselor said if he shows up every single day for the rest of the year, he'll have enough hours racked up to move on to 12th grade and with the suspension, he almost didn't. Dr. Asshole probably knew that because who the fuck gets suspended for seven fucking days for PDA. It's ridiculous. On top of that he gets called to the office what seems like every other day for menial shit.

One day, he came back from the office and said he was called because his grade had dropped from a 98 to a 96 in English and Spelding said he was “worried that you might not be taking school seriously.” Jon called bullshit immediately. Spelding wasn't worried before they kissed and he doesn't fucking care now.

 _Worried my ass_.

So he feels really bad when he and Jo finally get him to open his eyes because Stephen hates school. He hated it before and, if anything, hates it more now.

“Stephen, you have to get up.” Jon tugged at his shoulder again and he retreats back into the covers.

“I don't wanna go.”  
Jon sighs. “Don't act like a child.”

“Technically, under the law I am considered a child so--”

Jo rolls her eyes. “Jesus fuck..”  
“Can you call me in sick?”  
Jo looks at Jon. “Can I do that?”

So it turns out they can't do that and Jon almost had to drag Stephen to school. He wonders if he's like this every morning.

Jon sleeps through most of the day because apparently 3 hours of sleep isn't enough to sit through 7 hours of monotonous edification. He's semi aware in his 6th period English class because Sarah’s trying to pry out all the details from his adventurous Wednesday night. They were working in partners and his response to her question “Why are you so tired?” was “Stephen...just…” and he didn't even need to say anything more before she was fully interrogating him.

“I can't believe you had sex on the beach.” She laughs. “That's the most cliché thing…”

“Oh my god will you shut up.” Jon says putting his head back down on the desk, arms folded around it.

“I knew you guys were fucking.” she leans back in satisfaction. “Oh by the way, we're still meeting with those teachers after school right?”

“Mmmhmmm,” he hums right before he descends back into a light slumber.

 

“I don't understand why you hate him so much.” Mr. Veda shrugs, looking into the camera. “I mean, he's...strict, yes but isn't that his job? I don't know.”

“Well he's planning to dedicate only half of the budget you have now to the music department next year so we won't be able to have a full band and orchestra’ll be scrapped all together. Also, there can only be one chorus. There can't be separate women's choirs. It'll be a huge combined choir.”  
His choir director stares at Jon. “How do you know that?”

“Public information from a school board meeting about a week ago.” Jon hands him a paper He picked up at that meeting he went to for an economics assignment. It wasn't a big deal but it turned out to be very informative.

Mr. Veda grabs the document and skims it quickly. “Okay, one problem with the new administration, I will say, is that they don't tell us anything-- Oh my god,” he points to something on the paper and starts reading. “Students will not be allowed to miss class for music lessons as of the new ‘93, ‘94 school year” What the hell-- how am I supposed to teach theory and new music in a 40 minute class period?”

“They didn't tell you?”

Mr. Veda shakes his head and breathes a heavy sigh. “Why don’t you guys like him?”

“He told me one time that I was dressed like a whore.”

“He told me to drop out.”

Mr. Veda looks at Stephen. “ _What_?”

 

Their next interview is with Sarah's old geometry teacher, Mrs. Delano (Duh-lay-no). She's been at the school for over 30 years so they think she'll have some good input on the administration now. She’s a stout little woman with curly grey hair and glasses. Sarah said her class was the best math class she ever took and she hates math.

“What am I supposed to say?” The geometry teacher questions, looking at Sarah instead of the camera.

“We want your input on the new administration. Ya know, Spelding and all his goons he brought from upstate?”

“You can't say goons.” Stephen objects. “It'll sound like we're bias.”

“She can say goons; they are goons.” Mrs. Delano says. “I've never seen so many kids get suspended for meaningless...crap!”

Stephen asks, “Like what?”

“Well,” she begins. “One of my top students, a freshman in my honors geometry class, his name is Anthony, got suspended for singing too loudly in the hall, before school. And I'm talkin’ a great kid. Straight As, aces my tests, asks questions in class, no bad attitude, everything a teacher could want from their student. And he's in a band with his friends and they were practicing before school. Nothin’ wrong with that. But next thing I know, he's gone for 3 days.” She throws her hands up in confusion. “I mean, the kid’s never even had a detention then he misses 3 days of our midterm review and I didn’t even know about it until he got back and told me!”

Jon, Sarah and Stephen all look at each other. These stories are progressively getting more damming and, honestly, Jon loves it.

They do a few more interviews with Stephen's Chem teacher, Sarah's AP literature teacher and the secretary at the guidance office. That's really all they can do before teachers start going home. Also, they have a deadline on April 26. That's when their tape has to be sent in by. The office that they send it to is in New York City, though, so they'll probably send it in a few days before. But still, even with waiting until the last minute they have about 9 days to edit and send it in.

 

“Do you think this is wrong?” Stephen asks while they're all walking to the auditorium to put all their equipment away.

“Is what?”

“Ya know,” Stephen shrugs. “Potentially ruining someone's career _just_ because he suspended me?”

“No of course not.” Sarah says. “And that's not the only reason.”

“Yeah, you heard what all those teachers said.” Jon put a hand on his shoulder.

“What if he gets fired and can never get another job in a New York school?” Stephen worries.

“Well, shouldn’t you be fired if you’re doing a shitty job?” Sarah replies. “It’s his own fault sweetie.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jon has a panic attack :(  
> also guys this is my last monday before I graduate high school yaaasss go xenia i completed something for once lol  
> ALSO HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY STEPHEN <3 I was gonna post this on friday but it wasn't finished so lol

Stephen and him have been giving  _ a lot _ of fervent handjobs over the past few weeks. It's been because they've had no time for anything between filming and actually being in school and half because they were horny as fuck. Hornier than Jon ever remembers being in his life, by the way. It's definitely Stephen's fault. He just loves giving Jon a boner in public whenever the opportunity arises (in this case “the opportunity” is his dick haha get it?  _ Arises. _ ). So they always end up in Jon's car (whose windows aren't tinted okay) with eager hands in each other's pants and come stains on their underwear.

Then spring break was a washout. It's seems like all they did during it was fuck. They went to see The Sandlot and got back home and blew each other. Jon actually went to mass with Stephen on the first sunday ( _ Easter Fucking Sunday _ , okay?) of break then went out to eat with one of the Rabbi’s-- no priest-- family and Stephen had the nerve to be playing footsie with him under the table. Of course, they told them that they had a project to do for school then went to Jon’s house and Stephen fucked his face again because apparently Jon likes that now.

Stephen actually fingered him after waking up in Jon's bed for like the second time that week. Four fingers.

Stephen Colbert, 16 going on 17 Catholic boy from Long Island suburbia had four fingers up his ass.

That's such interesting sentence.

How has his mom not caught on to this by now? Teenage boys don't sleep over at each other’s houses this much.

Oh yeah, it’s Stephen's birthday on Saturday and Jon's unbelievably nervous. Stephen wants him to meet his family because a bunch of his siblings are coming over (Stephen's told him their names but he always says them so fast) and it’d be the perfect time to come out. He says he'll introduce Jon as his boyfriend and go from there. Jon's initial reaction to that was not  _ positive _ per say but Stephen said they're all pretty forward thinking people so that calmed him down a bit.

Along with it being his best friend’s (boyfriend? Still sounds weird) birthday it's also the day of the prom. Now, Jon had no desire to go to prom. He’d already gone to his junior prom and it sucked ass so he didn't even think about if Stephen wanted to go. He feels like an asshole for it but it's in three days. Can they find a place to rent tuxes in three days? Or make dinner plans? Or find dates? Can they be each other’s dates? Is that acceptable?

Ugh.

He did ask Stephen if he wanted to go after they heard conversation of it in economics and he said, “no, it's alright,” which sounds like “yes, but it's too late now, asshole.”

Or maybe that's just Jon.

_ Ugh _ .

Along with his best friend's (is it still considered a friend if you suck their dick on a regular basis?) birthday and the prom his best friend (what even is a boyfriend, really?) wanted to go to, it's the day of his dad's pity dinner that he absolutely  _ does not _ want to go to. He's glad he's got a legitimate excuse because he definitely would have had to make one up and it most likely would’ve been shitty. He's not a very good liar. Still, Stephen's been insisting that he go. Stephen said since he's telling his family about their relationship, Jon should tell his. That way, Jon wouldn't be running away from anything when he went off to college. Stephen says he should at least talk to his dad and if they still end up hating each other, at least everything's out in the open. But Stephen thinks talking things through will make things much better. It's better than Jon's “bottle it up into you fucking explode” method, he supposes. Well, it's more his dad's method. He can't help what he was taught. The only person he could ever talk about things with was his mom and...well…

_ Ugh _ .

He doesn't like to talk about it or even think about it but along with his best friend's (best friend just sounds right because that's what Stephen is-- the  _ best _ ) birthday, the day of the prom his best friend wanted to go to and his dad's pity party that he'll be avoiding like the plague, it's the two year anniversary of his mom’s death.

_ Fuck _ .   
  


 

_ Jon had never worn a suit before. Not seriously anyway. Maybe he’d worn one to temple a few times but that doesn't count. This time, he actually wants to look nice. He doesn't want to be here but he has to be here for her. It's not the most comfortable thing in the world but he had to do it for his mom. He's got to do it. He's going to give this eulogy and wherever she is, she'll hear it and she'll be so proud of him. _

_ It's more than his dad agreed to do. _

_ His dad's not even wearing a suit. _

_ His shirt's not even tucked in. _

_ He knows they're divorced but the least he could do was put on a goddamn suit for her funeral. He didn't even show up on fucking time! For fucks sake, he's not even sober! _

_ And Larry's not even crying. Their mom is dead and he's over there schmoozing with their mom’s friend’s daughters. _

_ Fuck Larry and his sparkling smile and small talk. Fuck him. _

_ He straightens his necktie and sighs. He looks out the door of the little cut-off room he's in. Larry has his girlfriends. His dad has his work buddies. His aunts have his uncles. _

_ He looks at himself in the mirror through the blur of the tears welling up on his waterline. Jon doesn't have shit. _

 

“You okay?” Stephen asks.

_ What? _

“Earth to Jon.”  Stephen waves a hand in front of his face.

“Sorry, what?” Jon blinks.

“You stopped playing…” Stephen gestures down to the controller in Jon's hand. He looks down at it then at the screen to see Mario blinking in the air and Luigi nowhere to be found. Oh yeah they're playing video games.

“Shit sorry.” Jon curses then quickly notices Stephen's mom glare at him from the kitchen. “Shit-- I mean-- sorry Mrs. Colbert.”

“It's okay Jon,” She smiles and shakes her head then goes back to--whatever she was doing. Jon totally zoned out. What is happening.

Stephen scoots closer to him, takes his hand and says. “Hey if you're worried about Saturday, I'm gonna be with you the whole time so, if you need to cry or talk or scream, you have me.”

_ How does he always know? _

“No, I was just…” Jon can't even come up with a believable lie. “I'm just tired...uhh...I think I need to go home.”

“Jon don't go--” Stephen pleads, looking to the kitchen to check if his mom's still there (she's not), then gives him a kiss. A sweet kiss. An “I love you” kiss.   
  


_ “He fucking interrupted me while I was up there I almost threw one of the flower vases at him.” Jon says as Dan pushes him slowly against the wall. _

_ “Why didn't you?” Dan smiles. “If there was gonna be a fight I woulda showed up earlier.” _

_ “Don't be a dick.” Jon slaps him in the arm, furrowing his brow. _

_ “I'm sorry. I'm sorry.” Dan giggles then gives him a kiss. A hard kiss. An “I wanna fuck you” kiss. _

_ “You're dad's a fucking asshole, okay?” Dan says unzipping Jon's jeans and shoving his hand inside. “C'mon cheer up, babe.” _

  
  


“Jon.”

Jon feels like he's in a trance.

Stephen squeezes Jon's hand and runs his other hand through his hair. “Hey, what's going on?”

_ What is going on. _

Stephen's standing up now and pulling him gently to follow him. He leads him upstairs, into his room and shuts the door. They both sit on the bed and the first thing Jon says is “I can't go to this dinner.”

“I knew it.” Stephen sighs with his head hanging. When he looks back up Jon is crying and shaking.

“I don't know what's wrong with me.” Jon trembles. “When I think about it I can't breathe” a hiccup “so I never think about it but it's happening-- it's happening now.”

Seems like the “bottle it up until you explode method” is working as it usually does.

“And I feel shitty because there are kids who have parents who’ll beat them until they bleed--” hiccup “--and I sit here and complain because he didn't love me enough-- what the fuck is that?”

“Jon” Stephen pleads.

Look, you're making him sad. You're such a piece of shit. He never did anything to you, in fact, he’s the only thing that's made you happy in a long time and you drag him into your shit. You wonder why everyone likes Larry better but, honestly look at yourself, you're a mess.

“Jon, baby,” Stephen takes him into his arms and hugs him so tight he stops shaking so much.

“I hate this.” Jon says into best friend's neck. “I fucking hate myself.”

“Jon, you're amazing.” Stephen says, rubbing his back. “You're incredibly smart and funny and genuine and so beautiful; please don't say that.”

“I can’t do this without you.” Jon whispers. “And that's bullshit.”

“It's bullshit that you need support?” 

“Yeah.” Jon nods.

“Well how did you deal with him before?” Stephen asks, still slowly stroking his back.

“My mom.” Jon can feel the tears start to well back up.

Stephen let's him go to look him in the eye but continues to hold his hands. If he stops, Jon thinks he might fall apart. “Maybe your dad's always been an asshole but you've never noticed because you’re mom was always there to block your perception of him as that but now that she's gone, you're seeing all of it. You don't hate him, I think you just miss her.”

Jon smiles shakily. “Oh my god can you be my therapist?”

“Boyfriend by day, therapist by night?”

Jon makes a face.

“You still don't like that?” Stephen asks referring to the title. 

“I think I prefer “best friend who's dick sometimes ends up in my mouth”” Jon says, with a bigger smile.

“Oh my god,” Stephen shakes his head, reaching out a hand to wipe Jon's wet cheeks.

“No,” Jon pushes his hand down. “I heard tears are great for your skin.”

Stephen giggles. “You're ridiculous.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is probably gonna end up being 20 or so chapters i feel like


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the first thing i do after i graduate is procrastinate *weeps eternally* i'm really sorry guys. i hope you guys like it (even though i took long af) also this was really hard for me to write.

Jon is laying in a pile of every single garment he owns which are loosely separated into piles of “No” and “Definitely Not.”

“I'll just go naked.” Jon rolls over in defeat.

Stephen looks down at Jon's limp body on the floor, “I think that’ll get me excommunicated.”

“Oh so a _naked_ boyfriend will but not just a boyfriend in essence?” Jon asks, throwing his hands up. He groans. “Why didn't you tell me people from your church were coming?”

“They're my mom's friends.” Stephen says. “I thought I told you.”

“You didn't.”

“Well they're not going to be there for long so…” Stephen's words taper off and Stephen starts swinging his bare feet in front of Jon's face. “Jon, stop stressing out.”

“I'm just gonna let these clothes swallow me into hell.” Jon whines, hysterically.

Stephen looks down at him, a boy rolling around in a pile of variegated grey shirts, clearly in crisis and says, “You can wear one of my shirts it's gonna be fine.”

“This is why I refrain from dealing with personal problems.” Jon says calmly.

“Dressing yourself is a personal problem?” Stephen asks with a smile poking Jon’s nose with his big toe, causing Jon to wrinkle his nose.

“Yes it is; so I wear a variation of the same thing every day to avoid it.”  Jon smiles then points to his brain. “Always thinkin’.”

“You're a genius.” Stephen says dryly.

“Yeah, I know.” Jon acknowledges the obviously clear fact then grabs Stephen's ankles and says, “You're a genius too.”

“Really?”

“ _Obviously_ ; geniuses only date other geniuses so it only makes sense.” Jon says like it's commonplace with a shrug.

Stephen chuckles. “Come up here.”

“I don't wanna get up.”

Stephen sighs, rolling his eyes, then hops off the bed to join Jon in his nest of grey shirts. “It's kinda nice down here.”

“Right.” Jon nods.

Stephen smiles back at him then takes Jon's head in his hands for a brief kiss.

Laying in a pile of grey shirts on the floor on a Friday night isn't anyone's idea of romantic but, right now, Jon can't think of anything more so. Its not so much the situation, it's the fact that Stephen doesn't leave or judge him or tell him to “man up” when he gets emotional. He feels safe. So, he leans in for another kiss and Stephen happily obliges, softly pulling on his dark curls as he rolls on top of Jon.

“You're kinda cute like this.” Stephen smiles,brushing hair from Jon's forehead.

“Emotionally distraught?”

“No; under me.”

“How did I know you were gonna say that?”

“Because you know it's true.” Stephen smirks and catches his lips in another kiss. Jon lifts his head and pushes into the kiss, letting Stephen take control for the most part because he doesn't give a shit about what they do as long as it ends well.

And it always ends well.

Except for this time because Jo walks in when Jon's shirt is coming off.

 

“Oh shit sorry guys,” She says but doesn't really look away. “Hate to break the news but you gotta take Stephen home Jon; his mom just called.”

Jon groans.

“Jesus; and when you get back clean your room.” Jo mentions before Jon walk out of the garage door.

  


Alright. Today's the day.  It's a beautiful day too. Spring always rolls in so slowly and before he knows it it's too hot to be in the house without an AC. He never notices the change but today, he feels like he's lucky to notice the weather in its transition. Its not blazing hot. It’s still cool in the morning and cool in the evening and wonderful when the sun is up.

 

This is gonna be great.

He gets dressed. Yes he's wearing grey-- he owns a shit ton of it-- but it's a polo so it should be good.He hops in his car and drives slower than a 90 year old woman could walk on the familiar route to Stephen's house.

He parks on the side of his house behind a silver car that looks like a decent person with a steady job drives.

He walks up to the door and rings the bell with shaky fingers.

_Oh fuck me_.

“Hi.” A tall girl with dirty blonde hair wearing a red blouse and jeans answers the door. “Can I help you?”

“Uh…” is all Jon manages to say. What is his name again? Why is he here?

“Jon!” He hears Stephen's voice as he sees him rushing to the door, bringing him back to reality when he hugs him tightly. Jon falls naturally into the embrace while Stephen strokes his hair and almost kisses him but they both look back at the blonde girl still standing  in the doorway.

Stephen clears his throat. “Oh yeah, uh, Liz,” Stephen looks at Jon then grabs his hand tentatively to make sure he's alright. “This is Jon, my boyfriend. Jon this is Liz, my sister.”

Jon squeezes Stephen's hand tighter waiting for a response other than widened eyes and a dropped jaw.

Ah shit she hates me. I corrupted her little brother and now she hates me oh my--

“Boyfriend like...girlfriend?” she tilts her head in question.

“Yeah…?” Stephen tilts his head the same way. “Except, ya know, he's a boy.”

“So you're gay?” before Stephen gets a chance to answer, Liz stage whispers the question, “Does mom know?”

“Probably.” Stephen shrugs.

“And everyone else?” She asks.

“No, you're the first one I told.”

Liz assumes a pensive look on her face and, for a little while, it's totally silent. Jon looks down, focusing on his hand in Stephen's. He's gonna be okay.

“Jon are you Catholic?”

“Jewish.”

She smiles and even laughs a little, “Okay so-- actually-- just don't tell certain people about this” she gestures to their holding hands “and you'll be fine.” She can obviously see that Jon is nervous-- more than nervous-- and places a light hand on his shoulder.

“Okay Liz can we come inside now?”

“Oh.” She says playfully when she realizes she is and has been blocking the doorways for about ten minutes.

Jon walks into the familiar house, that's usually mostly empty and still is empty but Jon looks at the clock on the wall and knows it's about to be full of people he doesn't know who are about to know one of the most personal details of his life. He swallows hard; his throat suddenly dry.

“Can I get a glass of water?” Jon looks at Stephen, squeezing his hand. Stephen nods and they walk, conjoined to the kitchen. Jon gulps down the whole glass in a matter of seconds preceding Stephen’s mom’s entrance into the main part of the house, greeting Jon with a big smile and a tight hug.

“Jon, how are you?” Mrs. Colbert says with a smile, like always.

“Great.” Jon answers, almost sarcastically. He can tell he looks pale. He feels pale; like his brain isn't getting enough blood.

“Sweetie, are you sick?” Mrs. Colbert puts a hand to his forehead, then cheek. Then she looks at her son for some type of explanation.

Stephen breathes deeply. “Mom, we have something to tell you.”

Her eyes shift around the room to her son, to her daughter, back to Jon. “Yes?”

“Mom you probably could already tell but,” Stephen starts, “in case you couldn't, Jon is my boyfriend.”

She had the same reaction as her daughter: awestruck and silent.

“You're homosexual.”

“ _Mom_.”

“No, I don't mean to-- I'm just asking.” She excuses herself then sighs a heavy sigh as a tear begins to fall down her cheek. Stephen opens his mouth to say something but his mom puts a hand up to stop him as she takes off her apron with a sniffle. The look in Stephen's eyes is devastated. He could've sworn she already knew and this would be no big thing.

  
“Stephen, sweetie, don't worry.” She walks over to her son smiling, rubbing his shoulder as she looks at both of them. “I suspected but I just didn't want it to be true.”

“ _Mom_.”

“I'm not done.” She raises a finger. “I prayed and I prayed and I _prayed_ that you wouldn't be gay, then I talked to my friend Wendy at work-- you know her? -- she says her daughter is, um, a lesbian-- but she's not Catholic so I didn't care for what she said to tell the truth. Then I finally went to Father Kelly and I said “Father, what should I do about my friend Wendy? She has a homosexual daughter.” and I told him how at peace she was with the whole thing and he said,” She pauses. Throughout her speech, she's been looking around at everything but her son but she finally looks him in his eyes and says, “he said I shouldn't bother trying to help her and should just cut ties--and I thought of what he would say about you.”

“He said that?” Stephen looks shocked.

His mom nods. “So, I excused myself and left. And I just sat in the car and thought about it. People say, if you're gay you were born that way-- it's just always been a part of who you are. So i thought: if my baby boy has always been this way and always been so kind, so honest and gracious and responsible and helpful-- how bad can it really be?”

Stephen smiles and says, “For a second I thought you were gonna disown me.” as his mom takes him into her arms.

“I would never do that.” She says, appalled, into Stephens neck. Stephens a whole head taller than her. “Besides-- who would wash the dishes and take out the trash and watch soaps with me?”

Stephen laughs.

 

Jon looks down with his hands folded in front of him. This is really beautiful. Everyone in Stephen’s life is so loving and kind and you can really tell from just being around him before you ever meet any of his family.

 

“I guess you get a hug too Jon.” Jon looks up as Mrs. Colbert hugs him too. “You're a bit like a son in law now, right?” She says with a laugh.

 

Jon chuckles too but in all seriousness, he mumbles, “What? We’re not married…” as Mrs. Colbert releases him.

 

“Okay, kids.” Mrs. Colbert says, addressing all three of them. “I have to finish cleaning the guest bathroom and clean myself up but Stephen,”

“Yeah?”

“I would never ask you to hide but today _really_ is not the day to come out to our entire congregation sweetie.” She says as she's about to round the corner into the hallway. Stephen nods. “And Jon?”

“Yup?”

“Is that what you’re wearing?”

Jon looks down at his ensemble and sighs, shaking his head. “I guess not?”

“Stephen get him a tie,” She says before she goes back to the bathroom.

Stephen is standing next to him trying to hold on his laughter.

Jon rolls his eyes and says “Shut up,” as Stephen leads him upstairs, laughing openly now.

When they get to Stephen’s room, Stephen opens his closet and takes a whole hanger of ties out of it.

“You want a grey tie too?” he says with a smile.

“Don't be a dick,” Jon pouts, snatching the hanger from Stephen, picking out a dark navy tie and quickly tying it. “Is this straight?”

“Yeah but you aren't.”

Jon just looks at him. “How did I know?”

Stephen just giggles as they go downstairs together.

 

The party turned out to be wonderful. Everyone was so nice to him and all of Stephen's siblings are just as amazing as Stephen (he still can't tell you all their names). Jon thought that each “This is my boyfriend, Jon” would add up and snowball into messy panic at the end of the party but people start filing out one by one and Jon looks at himself in the mirror hanging in the foyer and there are no tears (wet or dry). He smiles.

Then Stephen comes up behind him and says exactly what he was thinking. “You did it.”

Jon turns around. “I know, can you believe it?”

“Uh, yeah I'm the one who told you you could.” Stephen points out, brushing his hair out of his face.

“Yeah how did you know?” Jon furrows a brow and gives him an overdramatic glare. “Are you some kinda psychic or something?”

“No I just know you since you won't bother to know yourself.” Stephen gives him a peck on his forehead and Jon doesn't get a chance to think about what he just said before Mrs. Colbert calls out from the kitchen, “Boys, if you wanna make it to Trenton by 5, you should leave soon.”

“Aw fuck me,” Jon whispers , almost inaudibly as all of his tranquility quickly disappears but of course Stephen hears him and whispers back, “I told you: you're gonna be alright.” while rubbing small circles on his back.

 

So after a childlike back and forth of “I don't wanna go” and “Jon, you really wanna be running away from him forever?”, Jon drives back home and they have Jo drive them down to Lawrenceville because Jon doesn't trust himself to drive for two and a half hours and not have some kind of an episode. The whole way there, Jon stares out the window, going from wiping his tears to crying more to rejecting any sort of comfort Stephen would try and give him to shitting on himself for making the mood so awkward.

 

At least when they get there Jon is emotionally drained so it can only get...better? Worse? Whatever. He can't even bring himself to care.

 

“Jon! Jo!” His aunt Maggie answers the door with her usual exuberant smile like a glimmer of hope and hugs both of them then looks at Stephen. “You're the boyfriend, right? Stephen, yeah?”

 

Stephen smiles. “I like to think so.”

 

Jon grins. Stephen is so incredibly gracious with adults.

 

“Well, come on in guys,” Maggie moves herself from the doorway to let her sister, nephew and nephew in law into the house.

 

Wow.  Aunts, uncles and cousins Jon hasn't seen since...actually he actually doesn't know some of these people. The people Larry said we're gonna be here are here; Jon knows them. Even Uncle Andy, his dad's brother, who you can hardly ever get out of the city, is here. Boisterous nonspecific chatter fills the room and anxiety rises in Jon as he thinks of having to (¿penetrate) that. He's not socially awkward, not really. He could make an acquaintance or two in a pool of strangers but this is his family: people who’ve known him for forever. He doesn't get to pick out what he wants to hide and what he wants to say. But somehow, Maggie knows that the worst possible thing she could do right now is announce his presence so she doesn't. Jo goes off to mingle when someone calls her name and Maggie, Stephen and Jon break off into a corner of the living room where no one is standing.

 

“So how's hippy heaven up in Port Jefferson?” Maggie says picking a glass up off of the table and taking a swig.

“Great, actually.” Jon shrugs.

“Yeah?” She raises an eyebrow. “I knew you two would get along.” She smiles and nudges him playfully. “How are you Stephen?”

“Awesome.” Stephen smiles. “It's actually my birthday today so…” he mentions _so_ naturally.

Maggie smiles, “Well happy birthday kid-- can't say it’ll be a good time spending it here but-- whatever you wanna do.”

Jon seconds that with a nod.

Stephen shakes his head, still grinning. “You guys are awful.”

After a few moments of awkward curse-free small talk and people approaching Jon asking “How have you been?” like they care, Maggie gets tired of the tired vibe of the room and takes both of them, along with her drink, to the basement. Jon used to come here all the time after his dad moved back in with them a little before his mom died. He couldn't afford his rent after another pay demotion for-- big surprise-- having another staff relationship. So Jon made this his home for a little while. He looks around; it doesn't look like it's been touched since. There are still a bunch VCR tapes by the TV. The bookshelf still looks anemic. There's even still a blanket on one of the arm chairs. He doesn't think anyone's been down here since he had been.

 

Stephen sits on the chair draped in his old blanket and Maggie sits with him on the old smelling loveseat.

“Shit, Don can't even get decent basement furniture.” Maggie says adjusting the back pillows behind her, pulling one from under her butt.

“I'm almost certain these were here when we bought the house.” Jon says bringing his legs up into a criss cross position.

Maggie puts her arm around her nephew. “Well, that's okay; I’d rather smell like couch fungus than have another family member ask when I'm gonna settle down.”

Jon laughs. “They ask me that shit and I haven't even graduated high school.”

“Do they really?” Maggie smiles and puts her drink on the rickety looking coffee table.

“Yeah;” Jon nods then he parrots, “ _Have you found a nice Jewish girl? Of course there aren't many where you live but back in Brooklyn…why don't you come visit when you get out of school_.” and Maggie cracks up and throws his feet on the table right by her drink.

“You know, you’d think a recovering alcoholic wouldn't have liquor at his party.” Jon observes.

“He says he never was one,  that it was just a coping mechanism.” Maggie rolls her eyes.

“That's what alcoholics say.” Stephen comments.

“Right.” Maggie agreed. “Oh yeah, Jon, I need you to answer something honestly.”

Jon nods.

“Do you think I'd make a good mother?” Maggie asks after a deep breath, showing another emotion other than comfortable sarcasm or counterfeit enjoyment. Its vulnerability...maybe.

“Absolutely not.” Jon shakes his head.

“You little shit; I'm serious.” She slaps his shoulder playfully and Jon giggles.

“So am I,” Jon claims as he blocks another hit. “You were a shit parent-- ow!”

“Fuck you.” She pouts, crossing her arms.

“Why? Are you pregnant?”

“No but I’ve got, maybe, 3 good years to squeeze out a kid, if I should ever want one.”

“Wait…” Jon pauses to think about this. “You're not taking care of a kid. Who's the dad?”

“Remember my boyfriend?”

“The one you wanted to fuck on a table so you kicked me out?” Jon says and he locks eyes with Stephen when he remembers that he never told him that.

“That's the one.” Maggie looks down. “He proposed.”

“Well shit.”

“Oh my god, congratulations.” Stephen says from his chair.

“ _Thank you,_ Stephen.” Maggie says, glaring at Jon.

“I'm sorry,” Jon apologizes. “I'm just surprised.”

“Surprised by…”

“The fact that you grew out of your commitment issues before me.” Jon smiles.

Maggie responds, “You asshole!” but smiles too.

Stephen laughs too.

This is actually nice. He didn't realize how well he got along with his aunt Maggie. Maybe he was just too occupied with the all of the shitty people he knew that he didn't realize how significantly less shitty she was. Too bad nice moments can never last in this goddamned house.

 

“Jon,” Jon hears his name in a gruff voice coming down the stairs.

“ _Oh fuck me_.” Jon groans, throwing his head back.

Then Stephen says, “Jon, I can't, your dad's coming.” getting a chuckle out of Jon and it makes him realize that Stephen is there. It gives him some weird type of confidence that he's never felt in the presence of his father.

Of course Larry comes trailing behind their dad and a few seconds later, Jo creeps down behind them.

She says, “Sorry sweetie,” when she enters the room. They must've asked her where Jon was. Jon mouths back, “Its fine.” as the three family members sit on the empty couch that matches this dirt colored furniture set.

“How ya been?” His dad says after making himself comfortable and the whole room grew silent.

Jon says “Great.” and it sounds sarcastic but he really has been. “You?”

They're not looking at each other.

“I can't complain” he shrugs. “I didn't think you’d come, to be honest.”

“He made me,” Jon says, pointing at Stephen and Stephen just smiles and shakes his head at him.

“Oh; who's this?” His dad asks like he's been pretending to not notice the only person in the room who's legs actually touch the floor. (okay that's a joke but really--the Leibowitz are generally a short bunch of people.)

“That's his boyfriend.” Maggie, Jo and Larry all manage to say in nonchalant unison and Jon can't help but laugh. Stephen laughs too.

His dad's not amused though. “You're still doing that?”

“Not living up to your standards? Yes. I'm still doing that.”  Jon nods. Maggie, Jo and Stephen chuckle but Larry just glares.

“Jon,” he sighs. “I'm sorry; I just-- thought it would be something you would grow out of.”

“What is your reason for wanting him to be straight?” Maggie inserts. “I'm just curious since you don't even believe in God.”

“Coming from a person who changes sexual partners every week,” His dad says under his breath.

Jon chuckles, “ _That_ coming from a person who's been demoted twice for fucking the secretary.”

Jo just sips her tea and keeps quiet.

“Well at least I'm not going around letting some _other man_ take advantage of me.” His dad mutters and he can’t look up at him when he does.

“Ya know, you can be a piece of shit sometimes?” Maggie shakes her head. “Your kid found somebody he loves and can do stupid shit with and all you can focus on is the fact that it's another boy? Is that what you dragged him out here to say because I thought you were gonna apologize for fucking with his head and tearing up your family.”

The room is silent.

“I mean, since you're done “coping” and all.”

Still silent.

“He shouldn't have to apologize.” Larry breaks the ice. “He's a human being, Jon and despite what you think, he never stopped loving you. He's our dad.”

“Okay then why am I here?” Jon looks at his dad and his brother.

“Its just impossible for you to think of anyone else but yourself, isn't it?” Larry glares at his kid brother. He really does love his dad. After all, he did get all the good genes.

Then Maggie shoots back, “Huh, I wonder where he could possibly pick that up.”

“Shut up, Maggie. You took care of him for a year and a half and now you think you know him.” His dad says to her sister while his other sister continues to sip her tea.

“I _do_ know him.” Maggie leans in and rests her elbows on her knees. “Jo knows him, Stephen knows him-- even Larry knows him better than you do.”

“This kid knows my son?” he rolls his eyes nodding over to Stephen. “ _Right_. Does he know Jon had a crush on some girl on the lawrenceville high debate team?”

“Hi, I'm still in the room,” Stephen waves at Jon’s dad who has been refusing to acknowledge him for the whole conversation. “And yes, I do know about that. And I know he was really nervous about coming today because he thought that you would act...kinda how you're acting now.”

“Like a dick.” Jon clarifies.

“Are you two something like best friends?” Jon can tell he's still trying to understand which is somewhat commendable but the understanding is only seen through a sense of denial.

 

“No like I suck his dick and he sucks mine.” Jon says bluntly (because it might be the only way he understands) and Jo beside him tries to keep in a snicker.

“Okay okay, I don't need that picture in my head--”

“Yeah, I know dad; it's fucking disgusting and I love it!” Jon says. It feels like a lifetime of repressed emotions are coming out now and it's not preferable but it's happening. “ _I love Stephen_.”

“Are you drunk?” his dad asks.

“No, I don't want any of your shitty box wine.” Jon says with a laugh. “I don't need your apology either; it's fine. I thought you were gonna, I don't know, ask me about school, how I'm doing, get to know me or some shit like that but instead it's the same “why Jon?” “ _you're always fucking up_.””

 

“If you're still angry with me--”

“I am.” Jon interrupts then thinks again. “You cheated on her, ruined her fucking credit, and you showed up to her funeral drunk. And I feel like shit everyday because of you. If you can't realize how horrible that is--"

“I'm sorry for all of that.”

“But how many times do you have to say sorry until you actually are?” Jon asks, looking his father straight in his synonymous blue eyes and he doesn't think he's ever done this. He feels so powerful (probably because they're sitting and he's not the short one right now but still).

“I don't wanna be here.” Jon comments after a quiet while in the musty basememt and gets up to go back upstairs. He stops to say, “If this is you loving me, then I love you just the same.” then climbs the stairs and doesn't stop until he's out the door. He can hear Stephen following him a few steps behind.

 

The front door closes and Jon turns around to look at his best friend. The juxtaposition of that cramped, ill-furnished basement and the freedom of outdoors (even in a suburb) helps Jon breathe.There's a light breeze blowing his hair into his face so Stephen’s gentle hands brush it away and longer on his cheeks.

“I'm strangely proud of you.” he says with a smile. “I thought it might've ended with a hug and an invitation back but somehow I feel this is better.”

“He's too passive aggressive for that to ever be an option.” Jon smiles back while his best friend gives him a chaste kiss on the lips. Jon leans in for more but Stephen tugs him back ever so slightly.

“Not right now.” Stephen hinders.

“We should get outta here then.” Jon smiles.

“Mm, too cheap to get me a real gift?”

“No, I just really wanna--”

“Does pissing off your dad turn you on?” Stephen interrupts.

Jon just looks down, face flushed, because oh my god, it's kind of true. Stephen kisses him again like he has to to let Jon know he is totally fine with that.

“You guys ready to go?” Jo comes out of the house moments later, grabbing her keys from her pocket. Maggie comes out with her to give them all hugs and Jon some words of encouragement.

“If you can't beat em, to hell with em, right?”

Jon nods with a smile. "Right."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i didn't read this through so if there's mistakes ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
> also shout out to duck_overlord *finger guns*


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! :D look i'm on time...well sort of. 1 day late is probably the least late i've ever been. i wanted to post this as the last thing i did as a 17 year old but the 1st thing as an 18 year old is just as good. (its my birthday if i didn't make it obvious enough. also yes i share it with donald drumpf but we don't speak of that ok). this one's a long one!

Graduation is in about two weeks and Jon is ready to get the fuck out of there. He's been mentally checked out since late February and he really just thinks it's time. Of course he'll miss things-- Jo, Stephen, Sarah and Maggie. He'll miss Stephen most, though you probably already knew that. He won't miss his dad, though you probably already knew that too.

After that weekend, he feels like everything's changed. Now that Stephen is out to his mom, she's more cautious of letting Stephen sleepover at Jon's. It sucks ass but they mostly end up giving each other handjobs in Jon’s car. It's just a bummer they don't get to wake up next to each other. She also had a nice little conversation with them about premarital sex upon finding a condom in the living room (of all places-- one of them must've dropped it). She may not have a problem with Stephen being gay (or whatever) but premarital sex is still off the table (hmm, they've never fucked on a table-- that could be fun). She said something about virtue (but virtue is not a word he’d apply to this situation) and even if Jon didn't believe in god, he should still believe that his body is precious and deserves to be treated with respect and that not every partner will do that for him. But Jon didn't catch much more than that-- Stephen had his hand on his thigh under the table the whole time. At least Stephen respects his mom enough to disobey her in secret.

 

Jo has always noticed how much time they spend together, how much they talk on the phone, how much they...seem to be gone for half hours at a time. Jo told them this week that their star signs, Jon's being Sagittarius and Stephens being Taurus, fire and earth signs, very rarely get along that when they do, the connection is extremely strong. Now, his aunt has Stephen believing that God, the stars and every other force in the universe got together to make sure they were in each others’ lives. Jon doesn't know what he believes but every day that seems more and more likely.

 

So when Stephen's mom says “don't fuck, it might be a mistake (paraphrasing of course)”, he and Stephen can't possibly see how it would be.

 

But besides Mrs. Colbert’s acceptance, the best thing by far to come out of this week is the feeling of freedom and power he got from giving a big “fuck you” to his dad. All of a sudden, he just felt so free when he realized that his dad is just a person whose sperm happened to find the egg that made him. If he doesn't take care of you or love you or provide for you, the title “father” doesn't mean shit and the obligation to love him back is gone.

That brings him so much peace.

 

So it’s Friday. The third annual five day Young Filmmakers Festival in New York City is four days in. The film club decided the week before that they were only going on the last day, Saturday, the day they all present, so the freshmen wouldn't have to miss school and the seniors wouldn't have to get up any earlier than they already begrudgingly do. It's a small club so they’re all carpooling and Jon is taking Sarah and Stephen of course. So they decided if they all sleep at Jon's house no one will sleep late and they won't be late. Jon's kind of grateful Sarah is here because she's the reason Stephen can actually sleep over. But then again, they can't fuck with her the room so it's bittersweet.

 

“I can't believe I had to spend my Friday night with you two squares.” Sarah, basically laying on the bed in a manner that wouldn't allow anyone else to fit, subjecting Jon and Stephen to the bean bag chair in the corner, says as she tosses Jon’s unsolved rubik's cube up and down.

“Hey, Jon's not that boring.”  Stephen says.

Jon looks up from his position on the floor between Stephens legs like he's about to say “ _Really_?” but his glare says enough.

“No I was talking about _you_ _Stephen_ , who skips class for something he could literally do _in class_.” Sarah turns her head to them. “Jon, you don't skip at all which is equally lame but I feel like there's some shit you did in Jersey you're not telling us about.”

“What; you think I was robbing banks or something?” Jon remarks. “I assure you, I'm not smart enough or strong enough to get through any type of security system.”

“You're probably short enough, though.” Stephen tacks on and Jon doesn't even address it with anything more than an eyeroll and a half smile. “You could maybe slide under something.”

“You’d probably try to rob a bank and they'd end up setting you up with a credit card.” Sarah smiles. “They’d be like: “We have no money that you can rob, right now but every month we could loan you, say, $500. And You’d be like: “oh that sounds reasonable.”

Stephen laughs. “Then you’d miss your payments and they’d end up robbing you.”

Jon can't even say anything because he would.

“I gotta piss; where's the bathroom?” Sarah asks, minutes later while sitting up.

“It’s literally right next to my room. Did you not see it?”

“Shut up,” She mumbles defensively.

Stephen looks down at Jon the second they hear the bathroom door close and says, “We should lock her out.”

“You’re awful.”

“I love her but I love you more.” Stephen says, then groans leaning back against the corner.

“You just wanna fuck.”

“Yes, that's exactly what I want. How did you know?” Stephen asks as sarcastically as he can.

“You wanna fuck me?” Jon cranes his neck backwards to look up at Stephen.

“Yeah, you think I’d fuck Sarah?”

 _Wow. He just said fuck without any hesitation_.

“No I mean like in the ass…”

“Like…?” Stephen begins.

“With your dick.” Jon finishes. And maybe Jon would blush if this were someone different or if it wasn't 11 o’clock and he wasn't too tired to care but this is Stephen and it _is_ 11 o’clock.

“Well--”

“And I mean-- if you don't want to that's totally fine but I mean, you've had your fingers up there multiple times and you never thought “ _hey what if_ …?”-- I don't know. Just thought I'd ask you when you have all your blood in your brain.” Jon interrupts by nervous impulse before Stephen can say “No, Jon, I'm not that gay.”

Stephen doesn't respond right away and that scares Jon into babbling some more meaningless...babble.

“I don't want you to feel pressured though; ultimately, if you don't want it, I don't either so don't feel obligated to put your dick anywhere you don’t want it to be, ya know…”

Stephen giggles at the last part. “ _Jon_ ,”

“I understand my ass is not a very inviting place but maybe with some mood lighting, a nice soundtrack in the background, you can imagine it's it's somebody else's ass.”

“What are we divorced now?” Stephen laughs at Jon and it's the most pleasing sound that's ever fallen upon his ears (yeah he gets poetic and shit sometimes).

“No, but your mom would be devastated.” Jon smiles up at him, into the most beautiful eyes (okay maybe he's just getting tired now). “She already called me her son in law.”

“You think Sarah is just in there listening to us?” Stephen questions after a brief silence. “It does not take this long to pee.”

“Why would she be listening in on two _squares_?” Jon retorts. “Or maybe she's shitting.”

“I wasn't shitting.” Sarah says walking back into the room, causing Stephen to jump a little. “I was taking off my makeup.”

“So you _were_ listening.” Jon says in a faux-accusatory tone.

“Not by choice-- these walls are too thin to be having conversations about butt sex okay?”

Both of the boys laugh at the tired-of-you look on her face.

“I’m sleeping on the couch anyway so-- go at it I guess.” She shrugs. You can really see how tired she is now but she smiles at them anyway as she takes what are probably her pajamas and walks out of the room, leaving them with a listless “Night guys.”

 

Despite Sarah’s encouragement, they don't end up “going at it”. They just strip down to their boxers (Stephen’s briefs) then crawl under the covers and cuddle until they fall asleep.

“Jon,” Stephen said just as Jon's eyelids were falling closed.

“Hmm?”

Stephen whispers softly, “I love you.”

Jon was conscious enough to hear it but not to reciprocate. But if Stephen doesn't know by now that Jon loves him then...what does he know? That's the only thing Jon knows for sure in his life right now.

 

The morning is hectic. Stephen woke up at 6 am and put on a nice outfit like he was going to win something, then made food for everyone. Too bad Jon values his sleep more than punctuality. He ate his breakfast after he slipped on a navy tee and some athletic shorts while he was grabbing his keys and hoodie on the way out the door. Sarah was awakened by Stephens commotion in the kitchen so she kind of had no choice but to get up on time.

They're only late by a couple minutes (17 minutes actually) and Stephen went on and on about how that was the whole point of sleeping over: so none of them would be late. Even with Jon living about 3 minutes away from the school by car, Jon still managed to be late.

“You know why I said get here at 7:30?” Mr. Norman says when they get there. “Because I knew _you’d_ get here at 8.”

“It's not 8 yet.” Jon tries to excuse himself.

 

They leave soon after that, everyone getting in their respective cars and they make their way to New York City along with all the other Saturday morning commuters.

“It says there are workshops throughout the day-- ooh they have a stage acting one.” Stephen says, reading off one of the itineraries Mr. Norman gave them before they departed. The traffic is so backed up; they haven't moved for what feels like an hour. It's probably been no more than 10 minutes but still.“We should go to it.”

“When do we show?” Jon says pulling the paper towards him.

“We show all the way near the end-- at 4:15.”

“Holy shit. Why am I up so early if we're showing _mid_ \- _afternoon_?”

Stephen laughs, “Because there are other people Jon.”

Jon throws his head back and groans. “This fucking traffic-- it's Saturday! Take a day off!”

 

They eventually get into the city and park in their designated parking garage (too) far away from the actual place they need to be. The whole event is held at Fordham University's Lincoln Center Campus and when they finally walk up into Lincoln Center, there are so many kids there. Some don't even look old enough to be in high school. Then again, if his head was a little smaller, he’d look the same way.

 

“Okay guys,” Mr. Norman calls them all together over all the early morning commotion of the city after he came out of the main building. He just registered them all and got their name badges. “At the end of the day, we’re meeting right back here. Look at your surroundings. Take it in ‘cause we're meeting _right here_ at _6 o’clock._ You don't have to catch everyone's film if you're planning to go to a workshop or two but, please, still try and support your classmates okay?”

He goes over the usual-- stay with your buddies, don't take candy from strangers, watch your pockets-- and they're allowed to go their own ways. There were a few chaperones there but Mr. Norman said Jon and Sarah were legally adults so he let them wander off before all the underclassman groups were done pairing up with a chaperone.

 

“Guys we should go to the special effects makeup workshop,” Sarah says as they walk into the building labeled 1 on the map on their itinerary.

“Oh, that’d be cool.” Stephen smiles at Sarah.

“I know what we should do first:” Jon looks at both of them, “let's get coffee.”

Stephen latches onto Jon's arm and pouts, “No the stage acting is in 15 minutes.”

“I hope they prompt me to act like a zombie, ‘cause that's all I got.” Jon says as the both of them drag him off to find the room this thing is in.

 

So they end up going to 3 workshops by noon (the stage acting, the special effects and, accidentally, a puppeteer workshop). Jon’s learned about a lot of things he never thought were interesting before but he is _exhausted_. Like theme parks, big cities or events begin to feel like prison if you have nowhere to retreat to.

“You guys wanna eat or something?” Jon says, trying to catch up to his two long legged friends.

“Yeah, what do you want?” Sarah asks.

“Maybe get some pizza?” Jon suggests, shoving himself between them and hooking each of his arms around their shoulders.

“Yeah, sure.”

On the way to one of Jon’s favorite pizza places, and he always forgets about it every time, he passes his uncle Andy’s bakery. Stephen actually points it out and Jon insists that they stop in. Jon hasn't seen his uncle since the last time he was here maybe 2 years ago. Andy was at the dinner but Jon never got a chance to see him. Even though seeing his uncle is as rare as receiving a compliment from his dad or Maggie admitting she's wrong, he's always liked Andy. In a family full of high strung people, it's nice to be around his relaxing, joyful presence.

“Hey Jon!” Mary, the daughter of Andy’s business partner Paul, says from behind the counter. She's still the cashier like she was when he was last here. “You here to see your uncle or did you just wanna see _me_?”

Stephen steps up to the counter, looking at the pastries in the glass. “I thought we were here to eat.”

“Is he here?” Jon asks, ignoring the obvious flirting.

She looks disappointed, “Oh...yeah, he's in the kitchen. I'll get him.”

His uncle in frosting stained white apron comes out from the kitchen with a big smile on his face. “Jon, hey!”

He comes from behind the counter and almost picks up Jon's little body with his tight, loving hug.

Jon laughs.

“Missed you buddy,”  Andy says when he lets go. “I saw Larry the other weekend but I didn't see you. I know you were there,”

“Yeah, I sorta left early.” Jon chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Yeah, your dad's been pretending he doesn't care all week.” Andy rolls his eyes then leads Jon and his friends to a booth by the window. The shop is mostly empty, after the breakfast time rush they usually don't get a lot of customers until late afternoon and beyond.

“I forgot to ask who, uh, your friends are.” Andy said when they sit down.

“Oh I'm Sarah, Jon's girlfriend.” Sarah jokes with a bright smiles on her face while she shakes his uncle's hand.

Andy looks at Jon with a puzzled look on his face. “Wait...I thought your dad was being all lossy because you're gay?”

“Well--” Jon shrugs but is interrupted by a loud, dramatic sigh from Sarah

“You're _gay_?”

“Wow, that stage acting workshop is really paying off.” Jon chuckles, backing into Stephen’s personal space bubble since Sarah has totally invaded his.

Sarah laughs. “You must think me a fool, Jon Leibowitz.”

“Calm down Sarah.” Jon says, laughing at the breaking of her very short-lived character.

Andy looks at all of them, “Okay so you're not dating.”

Jon shakes his head. “We are though.” he motions to Stephen and himself who he's leaning on holding onto his bicep. Ya know, he probably didn't even have to say that, because this sitting position couldn't be any gayer unless he was sitting on his lap.

“I'm Stephen,” Stephen introduces himself.

“Hey man, nice to meet you.” Andy says shaking his hand.

“How is it that you're 5 years older than my dad and more okay with this?”

“Well, for one I live in New York ,” his uncle leans back in his chair. “I don't think it's possible to have any type of prejudice here because the people your parents taught you to hate end up being half your business.”

“Half your business is gay people?” Stephen asks.

“Yeah, gays love cupcakes I guess.” Andy shrugs. “Especially now; the, uh, pride parade comes right through here.”

Stephen looks at Jon.

“You guys ever been to one?”

They all shake their heads.

“They don't have fun things in Port Jefferson.” Sarah tells him.

“Well,” Andy begins then pauses for a minute before he continues, “Well, I'm gonna need a couple baker's’ assistants, maybe a cashier. You could, uh, make some money before you go off to college. My kids are all grown, you could live here for the summer and maybe catch the parade.”

Stephens eyes widen.

“That would be fucking awesome.” Jon says (seemingly for the both of them).

“I can't.” Sarah says. “Going on a road trip with much cooler people than you guys.”

“That's fine. I was just thinking, since Mary starts an internship in two weeks.”

“I'll do it.” Jon speaks up. “I haven't had a job in forever.”

“I have to ask my mom.” Stephen sighs.

“Oh yeah; his mom won't let me be within a two mile radius of him after 8 pm.”

His uncle laughs. “So are you guys here for some type of field trip or’s school already out or…?”

“Oh we're doing a short film competition down at Lincoln Center.” Sarah explains. “It goes all day.”

“You make movies now?” Andy asks, pleasantly surprised.

Jon shrugs. “I guess. Sarah shot it and Stephen acted; I was just the one being finicky and annoying behind the camera so…” He shrugs again.

“Sounds like you’d be great at that.” his uncle laughs. “You think you'll place?”

Jon laughs at the very notion. “ _No_.”

 

Okay so turns out they did place. They got second place in the documentary category. Holy shit. _Second_ _place_.

Jon chose not to watch their film along with Stephen and Sarah. He told them just to tell him if the audience laughs. He just went in for the awards ceremony and was surprised (to say the _very_ least) when the announcer called their film and they went up on stage to go accept their ribbons.

It turns out the kids there don't vote, they just show all the films so everyone gets a chance to show to an audience. The reason they all sent their tapes in like a month early was so the judges could review them all before and pick winners. And even with all that time to think it over, they still chose their crappy documentary.

A freshman girl and her group also won fourth place for one of the drama categories. Which is great for her but Jon doesn't even know her name.

 

“Stephen read the judge's comments.” Sarah urges after they've been stuck in traffic for maybe 10 minutes trying to get across the Brooklyn Bridge.

Stephen retrieves the paper from his pocket and unfolds it. “Okay…

 

“ _There are usually two types of documentaries we receive here: the ones that feature subjects we don't care for in the beginning and make us care even less by the end. Then there are the ones that feature so much information that we forget about what we just saw. Yours, Mr. Stuart, Mr. Colbert and Ms. Parker, is the rare film that makes us smile and think and want more. We laughed at some parts but thought some parts to be truly heartbreaking. It was very gutsy of you to make something criticizing your school’s administration and we were very cautious of the bias you all might have as students. But you managed to support all of the criticisms with legitimate reasoning and, at the same time, make us feel strongly about them._

 

 _The only reason we gave you second place is the first place winners’ film was a bit more polished technically. Despite that, for your first film, this was an extraordinary one. I hope to see each of you in theaters in the future. Congratulations_.”

 

Stephen turns to Jon with an eyebrow raised, “Mr. Stuart?”

“Yeah I put my name as Jon Stuart on the form.” Jon says, eyes remaining on the immovable traffic of the bridge. “Just wanted to see how it sounded.”

Stephen looks at him with those eyes that make him want to vent and tell him everything. Then Sarah leans on between them from the back seat.

“I've been in this club since it started and never won shit. Now I pair up with you two idiots and we get second.” She smiles at them both and grabs the paper from Stephen. “This is fucking awesome, though.”

 

When they finally get back to Port Jefferson, Jon drops Sarah off at her house and he and Stephen head back to Jon's. It's about 8 pm when  they get there and Jo greets them with a “How did it go?” and they quickly describe everything they did-- uncle Andy’s job opportunity, the workshops, how they got second. She congratulates them and says she knew they would do great. Then Stephen and Jon retreat to Jon's room; they've only got about an hour of alone time before Stephen’s mom calls for her son back.

 

As always, Stephen ends up on top of him, kissing him with his hands in his hair. They're just comfortable like this now.

“Ya know,” Jon says once Stephen pauses for a bit to look at him. “I said I wouldn't give a shit if we didn't win anything at all or if everybody walked out of the room while our movie was playing or if it got lost in the mail and nobody even saw it. And I think that's still true. But you know I never gave a thought how I would feel if we actually won _something_ and I don't know if I care, I don't know if this is some life-altering thing but I know it's making me feel kind of ecstatic. And I know it sounds like a bunch of sappy bullshit but it's even better that I made this thing with you.”

Stephen smiles. “You're right. That _does_ sound like a bunch of sappy bullshit.”

Jon rolls his eyes. “Oh well fuck you.” Jon tries (not really) to push the other boy off his torso but Stephen wraps his arms around him like Stephen cocoon. “No, get off, you get nothing!”

Stephen laughs right by his ear. “No, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.” Then he starts tracing little pecks behind Jon’s ear and down his neck. “Do you forgive me?”

Jon looks at the boy on top of him. “Are you gonna keep being an asshole?”

“Probably.”

Jon rolls his eyes.

“I just want you really bad right now.” Stephen says with all the sincerity in the world.

“You always want me.” Jon replies.

“Shouldn't that flatter you?”

“No; we're teenage boys; we'll settle for the nearest consenting carbon based life-form.”

“Does it make a difference that I always want _you_ specifically?”

“Are you trying to get me to accept a compliment?”

Stephen finally concedes with a heavy sigh. “No, I just wanna fuck you.” Then he tacks on, “whether or not you believe me.”

Jon thinks he feels his pupils physically dilate. “You do?”

“Yeah,” Stephen gives him a quick kiss then pushes his pelvis into Jon's leg.

“How come you never said anything the other 5 times I mentioned it?” Jon smiles, sitting up with Stephen so he can take off Jon’s shirt.

“I don't know, I guess--” Stephen sighs. “I don't know-- I wouldn't even know how--”

“You don't know how to fuck me?” Jon doesn't mean it to sound like he's mocking him but it just seems funny. How do you learn that? Does someone demonstrate? Are there tutorials available?

“Shut up.” Stephen pouts.

Jon smiles. “Well I've fucked me so maybe I could be of some help.” Jon says slipping Stephens shirt off and throwing it on the floor.

“First thing you need for this recipe is a slippery asshole of which I will supply. Next you'll need a hard dick-- that's where you come in--”

“If you walk me through this like a cooking show I'm leaving!” Stephen promptly interrupts and  Jon descends into a giggle fit.

“I'm sorry,” he says through his giggles. “but really: you need to finger me.”

“You're ridiculous.” Stephen smiles at Jon then reaches into Jon's night stand for the half empty bottle of lube they've reached for many times before. “You wanna do this sitting up or you wanna lay down?”

“Sitting up,” Jon answers slipping off his shorts and underwear and throwing them into the pile of other clothes. He stands up on his knees, completely naked, and scoots to hover over Stephen who's sitting on his knees with his feet under him. “Just like this; I wanna see you.”

Stephen kisses him and runs his fingers through Jon's hair one last time before they’re covered in lube.

Stephen’s right hand fingers are now slippery with lube so Jon takes a breath while Stephen reaches back to circle them around Jon's asshole. He flinches at the coolness of it. Even though it’s always cold, he always flinches. Stephen slowly pushes in one finger past the ring of muscles and the fact that Stephen is still has his pants on makes his dick harder. They gradually work up to two and then three, then four, until Jon is panting and moaning, sweaty forehead head resting on top of Stephen's bare shoulder.

“Fuck,” Jon groans as Stephen starts pumping his long fingers into him faster.

“Do you have a condom?” Stephen asks as Jon picks his head up, swiping back his overgrown locks.

“Of course; I buy them in bulk.” Jon says, wincing a bit as Stephen's fingers slide out.

Stephen laughs but Jon's face is unmoved. “Wait, _really_?”

Jon continues to stare at him.

“ _Do you really_?”

Jon finally cracks a smile. “No, I'd have no one to use them with.” He grabs one from a box that he bought maybe a month ago in his nightstand.  “I know you think I'm hot but it's not a popular opinion.”

Jon throws the little packet on the bed by Stephen and scoots closer. He directs Stephen to go down to the other end of the bed and lean against the headboard.

“I'm gonna ride you until my thighs inevitably get tired.” Jon says as he jerks Stephen's cock a few times then (pinches the tip first-- do it right kids!) rolls the condom down onto it. Stephen strokes himself with the excess lube on his fingers as Jon, on his knees hovering over him, kisses him deeply.

“Mmm, fuck.” Jon moans as he grabs Stephen's hard dick and begins to lower himself onto it. He's sure Stephen's dick is not the biggest thing in the world but it's definitely not small and, right now, it feels _way_ bigger than four fingers.

“ _Holy shit_ ,” Jon breathes out after he's successfully taken in all of Stephen's cock.

“Are you okay? Does it hurt?” Stephen asks frantically.

“Yeah, I'm fine,” Jon whimpers, “Just don't move or come and I'll be fine.” He momentarily smiles at the fact the Stephen, whose dick is literally being squeezed as tight as it possibly could be, has enough blood in his brain to make sure he's comfortable.

“Okay, should I do...something…”

“Kiss me…” Jon says then instantly crashes his lips against Stephen's. He really just needs to relax and he'll be fine. Stephen's tongue roams around his mouth, his hands travel along his body, soothing Jon.

“Shit,” Stephen curses when Jon develops a slow but steady rhythm, sliding up and down his cock. The pressure has subsided a bit and now Jon can feel every inch of Stephen inside of him in the best way possible.

“You look so good on my cock, Jon.” Stephen whispers at a volume only Jon could hear and, honestly, it makes him feel hot. _Wanted_.

What counteracts that feeling is that of muscle fatigue in his thighs. He saw this coming, he just thought it’d be more than 5 minutes.

“Stephen you gotta lay me down or something.” Jon pants into his ear, Stephen’s dick slipping out as he gets up on his knees to rest. “My legs hurt.”

“Oh, um…” Stephen says, chest heaving from his heavy breaths. “How do you wanna…?”

“Just,” Jon lays down backwards and spreads his legs. “We could stand up or doggy style or whatever but I think I'd actually collapse.”

Stephen laughs a little. “I guess it's my turn to do all the work.”

“Yes please,” Jon says while Stephen grabs his legs, pulling him closer then slowly bends them back towards his head as Stephen pushes his cock back into Jon’s waiting hole. Everything below his belly button is probably going to hurt like a bitch tomorrow but in this moment, all he can feel is Stephen and it all feels right.

“Can I go harder?” Stephen asks.

“Please,” Jon begs and on his OK, Stephen thrusts in harder, his hips slapping against Jon’s ass “Oh my god yes,”

Every time Stephen pushes his cock into him, the closer he feels to coming and he hasn't even touched himself yet.

“Don’t come yet okay?” Stephen requests as he withdraws from Jon and takes off the condom.

“What are you…?” Jon’s speech fades out as he's transfixed on the sight of Stephen jerking himself off and coming right onto Jon's hard cock. before Jon can even say anything, Stephen's hand is flying up an me down his dick, lubed up by Stephen's own come.

“You can come now,” Stephen says, watching Jon's body react to all of the sudden attention. Jon comes hard when he feels two of Stephen's fingers slip back into his loose, wet hole.

“ _Fuck_ ,” He moans. Stephen keeps going a few seconds after, then takes those fingers from his ass, coats them in their combined jizz and shoved them in Jon's mouth.

Goddamn, Stephen's a kinky little shit.

“I hope you plan on cleaning off my cock.” Jon says and he can't even convey a serious tone because of how exhausted he is.

“I do.” Stephen says, smiling.

  


“Please stay,” Jon says with a yawn after they had reluctantly change his sheets.

“I can't. My mom’s probably gonna call any minute.”

Jon looks at his clock. 9:37.

“Then go call her now,” Jon urges him and begins pushing him off the bed. “Go tell her that we got in late and you were telling Jo all about everything that happened and that took a while so we ate and watched TV and lost track of time and it's getting late anyways so she should just let you sleepover.”

Stephen scoots out of the bed and slips on his underwear and Jon’s T-shirt and looks at Jon, who's already nodding off.

“You're gonna be asleep by the time I finish anyway.”

"Yeah but I want you here when I wake up.” Jon yawns again. “Besides, who's gonna carry me around when I can't walk tomorrow?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can you tell i read this one through? lol


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im late af i know *rolls eyes @ self*

Stephen’s never been one to think about consequences. Him being in trouble is sort of the natural order of things. Jon used to run around getting into all kinds of shit-- it was an easy way to get attention-- but ever since he met Stephen he hasn't had the uncontrollable urge to knock down a display of cans at the grocery store or go train hopping or any other variant of a bad idea.

But where Stephen just ends up in trouble, Jon actively seeked it out. Where Stephen doesn't care much about a punishment, Jon looked forward to it. And even though Stephen gives him all the attention he could ever want and more (really, Stephen knows things he doesn't even know), he always wants to know how far he can push the boundaries before someone gets a little _too_ pissed off. This was absolutely, positively, most certainly the case with Dr. Dickhead.

 

“What is the meaning of this?!” Spelding slams his hand on his desk, making all 3 of them jump a little bit in their seats.

_Jeez. Anger issues much?_

“Well, we wanted to show that the people we often entrust with important things like our money, our health, our _education_ , are not immune to bias or corruption. And often that bias can have negative effects on people who least deserve it. Did you not get that or?” Jon explains calmly and sarcastically, leaning back in his seat with his legs spread, the universal position for “I'm an arrogant asshole”.

You see, naturally, as winners, they showed their film (and the one freshman showed hers) at a school assembly. Spelding’s not an idiot (at least not totally) so he realized he was being villainized about 3 minutes in. Jon could tell because he kept looking back at him and he could practically see the vein popping out of his head.

“Did you not notice that the 3 of you, who made this-- this slanderous pile of lies, all frequent my office about a few times a week. You're trouble makers!” He flails his hands around. “Of course you're not going to like the only man who can put you delinquents in your place!”

_Ok that seemed a little self gratuitous but however you wanna say it man…_

Jon looks at Stephen next to him, smiling.

“Don't look at him,” Spelding scolds. “ _You're_ the worst offender.” He says pointing a shaky, angry finger at Stephen.

“What do you mean? He skipped class to go to the _library_. He should get a fucking trophy.” Sarah objects and crosses her arms.

“Skipping class is skipping class.” Spelding says to Sarah as sternly as he possible can. “And that's not his only offense. Vandalism!” Spelding accuses Stephen, pulling the charge completely out of his ass.

“The lock on my locker was broken _when I got it_!”

“Talking back to faculty!”

“When they were being unfair!”

“PDA!”

Stephen looks at Jon and all he can manage to do is laugh. Jon laughs too.

“That's bullshit.” Jon shakes his head. “It's _all_ bullshit. I have actually _witnessed conception_ in a boys bathroom here and you're talking about a kiss and some goddamn hand holding.” Jon stands up out of frustration as if his height gives him some kind of advantage.

“It's fine that you're a dick, it really is, be who the fuck you wanna be, but when your dickishness starts affecting your job-- the kids whose futures have been entrusted with you-- you don't get to keep that job!” Jon’s actually shouting. All the anger that he shrugged off with humor is coming out in its purest form. “You suspended him for a fucking week for a kiss that lasted 3 seconds. That goes on his permanent record! When he applies to college,they're gonna see that!” Spelding wants to say something but Jon starts again. “You can't just _fuck_ people over ‘cause you think they're _icky_! It's not right and someone had to say it!”

He sees Stephen blushing in his peripheral vision and hears Sarah whisper to him “and he _bottoms_?”.

 

A week before graduation and Jon wants to do one thing before he transitions from high school student to American citizen: get Spelding fired. He meant what he said last Friday. Spelding shouldn't get to ruin other kids’ lives and if Jon can aide that, he most definitely will.

He, Stephen, Sarah and Jo are all heading down to City Hall for the public forum style school board meeting. And even though apathy is at all time highs this time of year among students, he asked every kid who had any type of beef with Spelding to come to it too. They can all speak out and hopefully they'll consider this when they decide on whether or not to bring him back next year. Jon also sent them the tape of their movie because that has teachers’ testimony in it too.

When they get there, there’s a shit ton of kids there, more than there has been all year (Jon attended a few back in the early spring). He recognizes a few of them. Some of them smoke pot under the bleachers, some sit at the back of classrooms and slack off but some are straight A kids who just got on Spelding’s bad side (he seems to be all bad side to be honest).

The four of them, luckily, find 4 consecutive seats towards the middle of the room.

The chairpeople (fun fact, there are no teachers on the school board (not one) and this is a common occurrence in many American cities) go through all their usual business, their boring, _boring_ business. Then, after what seemed to be way more than 20 minutes, they opened up the floor up to the public. When the chairwoman said that, Jon got up to walk to the microphoned podium.

“Hey guys,” he turns around to wave at his schoolmates.

“You get a minute to speak, sir.” The chairwoman says harshly.

“Kay, calm down, I'll keep it short.” Jon says, a little taken aback by her tone. “Um, basically, all of us are here as the student body of Port Jefferson Prep to tell you that we need Principal Carl Spelding not to return for the next school year.”

“Is that it?” She asks in a blase tone, rolling her eyes.

“Okay first, you don't have to be rude. We, every single one of us, have stories about this man that’ll make you question how he got the job in the first place. So, um, I'll just let someone else speak.”

After that it's just story after story of every kid he's picked on within the course of the one year he's been there. Jon knew it was fucked up but some of these kids, he hadn't even talked initially.

 

“You're a good kid, you know.” Jo says to Jon when they get home and everyone else has returned to their respective homes. “You're not even going to be here next year and you stood up for everyone who was.”

“No, I'm just enough of an asshole to get people to listen.”

Jo shakes her head. “Where do you get that idea? That you're an asshole? You're Stephen's _whole world._ There's gotta be something the kid likes. _”_

“He's an asshole sometimes too. Assholes just attract other assholes.” Jon reasons.

Jo sighs a heavy sigh and gives up her response but instead says, “Ya know, that Spelding guy sounds a lot like a guy you and I both know”

“The neighbor across the street?” Jon guesses, knowing good and well who she's talking about.

“Your dad, Jon.” Jo sighs again.

“Jo--”

“I know you hate talking about him more than you hate him but I think we just need to talk...in a healthy way. He still calls me-- he doesn’t think this is settled between you.”

Jon doesn't say anything and has half a mind to walk away from it all right now. Maybe he will.

“Where you going?” Jo asks, disappointed. She knows the answer.

“I'm tired.” Jon says as he disappears into the hallway.

 

_You know what Stephen would say?_

_Stephen would say this is indicative of the issue._

_Your actions serve as a metaphor for how you tend to deal with your personal problems._

_By walking away._


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> IM SHIT AT ENDINGS BUT HERE IT IS

Well graduation was pretty lackluster. When you're a freshman or a sophomore or a junior, you tend to think that moment you walk across that stage with your diploma in hand is the moment you're life is going to change. In reality, though, you trip on your way up onto the stage and, for a week after it, you sit around the house and don't do anything but the stuff you were already doing before. The only difference is there's no homework to _not_ do.

 

Ok. It was special. It was special for the 5 minutes between when he was lined up to go on stage and when he stepped off of it. The not so special part was the 200 something names that were called before him and the 50 something names called after him. It was special for about another 5 minutes when Maggie showed up with flowers (which he didn't care for so much) and a check for $200. Even Stephen and his mom came and Stephen gave him a big kiss right there in the middle of everything. Jon almost cried then. The sudden realization that Stephen would only remain in his life until mid August hit him when Stephen's lips hit his and his soft hands grabbed Jon's maroon gown like he was holding him together somehow.

“I love you so much, ok?” Stephen whispered in his ear like he desperately needed Jon to remember it. “Don't cry,”

 

That was special.

 

But that was a week ago. Now he's cleaning the garage with Jo-- well Jo was here, she had to go get blood work done so Jon's alone now. There's mostly just boxes of pictures, letters, knick knacks. Jon found a sweater he liked. He pushed that nagging “but that's a girl sweater” out of his head while throwing it in the box marked “Shit Jon Wants”. After all, Jo said if he saw anything he liked, he could take it. All the rest was throw away or give away.

He throws a bunch of old clothes into the donate box, sitting on Jo’s forest green kayak to finish sorting through them. The garage is open. It’s a hot day. School is finally out, people are doing things-- it's wonderful. Besides him having to sit there almost naked, just in some shorts and nothing else, because he's sweating his balls off...it’s wonderful.

He's a little caught off guard when a car pulls into the driveway.  He turns his head to see Stephen and his mom get out.

_Shit_.

Immediately after Stephen gets out of the car he covers his blushing face giggling at Jon, also blushing, and the look on his mother's face.

“Hello, Jon.”

“Mrs. Colbert, hey,” Jon says smiling nervously. His first instinct is to go in for a hug but when he lifts his arm, he smells the locker room-esque stench coming from his body then quickly retreats to a hand shake. “What are you guys doing here?”

“I came to talk to your aunt.”

“Oh she's out getting blood work so...uh…” Jon crossed his arms to cover his chest. Stephen's grin is not helping the situation in any way.

“Oh I just wanted to ask about the summer job with your uncle. I’ll need his number and his address of course.”

“Oh yeah, it’s, uh...he's-- it's gonna be-- um great. Yeah. I can-- his number is--. Ya know, he’s really reliable so that’’s--uh good so...” Jon mentally face palms and Stephen laughs.

“Sweetie, don't worry; I _want_ Stephen to go. I think it would be a great experience.”

“Oh yeah, it will, and if you're worried about--”

She puts up a dainty hand to stop him. “I'm not, I trust you.”

“Even though you've given me plenty of reasons not to.” She adds with a dubious look, cocking an eyebrow.

Jon can't even defend himself.

“One more thing.” Mrs. Colbert says smiling. “We had our last PTA meeting of the year and there was a lot of talk about not having your principal return next year.”

Jon's eyebrows shoot up in genuine surprise. “ _What_?”

“Yeah, some of the other parents even started a petition after the school board meeting. I signed it of course.”

“Holy--” Jon stops himself. “-- _goodness_.”

Mrs. Colbert laughs a little. “Nothing's final yet but I think it's fair to say You and Stephen helped this along significantly.”

Jon runs a hand through his sweaty hair (holy shit it's moist) and puts a hand on his hip. “This is crazy.”

 

After she shares the small amount of details she has on the matter, Stephen's mom gets in the car per Stephen's suggestion so they could talk in semi-privacy.

“You look really hot,” Stephen smiles with a little giggle slipped in.

“Yeah, thanks, I'm fucking melting.” Jon laughs a little too.

“Goodness, you don't even sweat this much when we fuck.” Stephen whispers.

“Can we not talk about fucking when your mom is literally right there?”

Stephen smiles, “Oh, I'm sure a boner would hardly be noticeable in those tiny shorts.”

“You're a fucking asshole,” Jon smiles, pushing Stephen back a little from the personal bubble-bursting closeness that they've become so a custom to.

Stephen smiles that lovely infectious smile of his then says, “Can you believe we actually made some kind of difference?”

“I have a hard time believing most of the stuff that's happened to me in these past months.” Jon says truthfully.

“Yeah?” Stephen steps back into Jon’s bubble, frankly, where he belongs.

“I can't believe this is fucking real,” Jon whispers, looking straight into Stephen's dark eyes. “I can't believe I ever got to meet you and I can't believe you _love_ me.” Jon nuzzles his head into Stephen's chest and Stephen wraps his arms around him (definitely holding him together).

 

_I can't believe it's fucking over._

 


	19. Epilogue

Jon goes to William and Mary College in Williamsburg, Virginia.

 

Being a chemistry major sucks ass.

 

Jon explores his straighter side in college.

 

During his first break (thanksgiving), Jon and Stephen go on their first actual real date where people can see them and is so liberating.

 

Jon’s not attached to anyone in Virginia so Stephen lowkey still considers them boyfriends.

 

Stephen stopped skipping class and, holy shit, actually pays attention.

 

Jo is still the free spirit that everyone wants to help guide their lives.

 

Maggie gets married and Jon’s the flower boy because all of her friends’ kids are “fucking brats and couldn't walk in a straight line if they were walking against a wall.”

 

Jon doesn't talk to his dad despite many invitations to do so and sometimes likes to go by Jon Stuart.

 

Not everything can be wrapped up in a pretty bow.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope u guys liked my shitty ending  
> but in all seriousness i very rarely ever finish things and ive never finished a story in my /life/ so this is a big accomplishment for me *teary eyed smile*  
> ALSO I’D LIKE TO THANK MY 3 FANS: SM4SH, PANDA_LOCKED AND DUCK OVERLORD U R THE REASONS I KEPT WRITING THIS. :')  
> k im done


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